Whatever @clapallthesandals - Tumblr Blog

saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but t☝️hat one is chinese

yuriinullification

holdon

what the fuck is going on in this site's backend

mrsandman42069

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dragongirlbunny

weed gummies are such a fake sounding concept like yeah if you eat this piece of candy and wait an hour you'll suddenly become very easily entertained and airheaded and cuddly

somethingsomethingwizard

willy wonka creation

ivafakename

YOUNG MAN!

There's no need to feel down,

I MEAN YOUNG THEY!

I forgot your pronoun,

ivafakename

Prev do you think it's okay to just go on other people's posts and be funnier than them?

sanguine-squid

where is any higher quality version of this image

satellites-halo

can't find anything other than this which has maybe 5 extra pixels

sergal

solitairie

now dance fucker dance man he never had a chance

ozempicofficial

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jellyfishforest135

Typical science teacher behavior

podcastwizard

LIKES TO CHARGE REBLOGS TO CAST

the-goddess-of-annoying

you people aren't CASTING

the-goddess-of-annoying

NO

microsff

Every morning, the queen asked her magic mirror to show her the most beautiful person in the world.

The mirror replied "To whom?"

"The miller who made the flour for my bread," the queen would say, or "Whoever spun the thread my shawl was made of".

The mirror would show her, and she'd be amazed.

nullen-void

The first time, she says "To me," and the mirror dutifully shows her her reflection. And she is pleased.

The second time, she says "To the King," and she is pleased to see herself once more.

The third time, she says "To the Royal Advisor," and is once more satisfied to see herself.

The fourth time, she says "To the scribe who takes the King's letters." She is shown the man's wife. And she seethes, but quiets herself, for it is only right that a man loves his wife.

The fifth time, she says "To the Court Wizard," and is shown the man's departed mother as he remembers her from his youth, radiant and smiling and warm and larger than life.

The tenth time, she says "To the Stable Master," and is shown the fastest horse in the stable, majestic and free as the wind even in captivity

"To the baker," she is shown the man's daughter, young and adorable and full of joy and laughter.

"To the artist who did my portrait," she is shown a painting of a woman done by the man's teacher, who he still looks up to now that he is well established himself.

"To the Royal Knight," she is surprised but not displeased to see the castle's entire guard force in the middle of doing drills.

The one hundredth time she asks the mirror, and it asks her "to whom?" she once again says, "To me." And she does the same the one hundred and second, and again and again and again.

It is a different person each time, and they are all beautiful.

polyamandhellaglam

Polyamory is safe for work. Polyamory is safe for kids. Polyamory is safe for day time tv. Polyamory isn’t more sexual than any other relationship and it can be just as romantic, sweet, and healthy.

evilwriter37

Aggressively reblogs.

cheacegirl

I think gatekeeping art is such a funny thing like. "Oh so this doodle I just made is art" yes next question. "So video games are art?" yes????? Bitch your essay you wrote on that book you didn't read in English class when you were 10 is art. Painting a fence is art. 2 sentence shitpost on Tumblr is art. Get on my level.

bornt-urnge

can-i-make-image-descriptions

[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: #the deliberate act of creation is art next question /End ID]

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shottxyz

tilthat

TIL “Yankee Doodle” was written by the British to mock americans. “Doodle” is thought to come from the German “dödel”, meaning “fool” or “simpleton” and “macaroni,” a flamboyantly stylish type of dress, painting the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one’s cap made them a “dandy.”

via reddit.com

toastpotent-deactivated20250619

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

beggars-opera

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

ti-bae-rius

US moron came to town

Hunting for some coochie

Wrote a G up on his belt

And this bitch called it Gucci

ti-bae-rius

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

sceptixfakemon

this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this

sceptixfakemon

im never leaving this hellsite

gallusrostromegalus

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

starathsbunker

#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus

I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious

gallusrostromegalus

A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)

Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.

nyadversary

big shoutout to the gas station near my house which is running a deal on energy drinks and thought the best way to express this on their large LED sign was to make it read BANG MONSTER 2/$5

nyadversary

update: you'll be pleased to know that they rethought their sign and have changed it to read MONSTER BANG 2/$5

nyadversary

i have terrible news about the economy

they raised the price of monster bang :(

glitchgirlgasm

Monster bang inflation 😵‍💫

plumped-up-furrys-deactivated20

monster bang inflation 🥺🥺🥺

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