Horridly Wonderful

i need 2 nourish my body so when i die i can contribute maximum nutrients to the trees

why don’t people claim to descend from the gods anymore? ignore one of your parents, claim a throne, become a hero. people are so boring nowadays.

what is she doing down there

she was trying to avoid the paparazzi!!

N Y O O M

What about the ghosts tho

Oh you mean the homies

The fact that people who go on “are you smarter than a ten year old” seem to be less intelligent might be proof of the fact that the stuff we learn in school is useless.

I love when my boyfriend showers at my house cause I get to lean against the door and hear him quietly scream

NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HES A METAL VOCALIST HE PRACTICES IN THW SHOWER I DO NOT TORTURE MY BOYFRIEND

the best way i can think to describe the experience of reading moby dick is you’re in line at the dmv and this guy behind you very loudly says “well who HASN’T had a gay experience” and then proceeds to tell you every detail about his life in between anecdotes about how great sperm is and how ropes work and sometimes he’ll say the most poetic shit you’ve ever heard in your life and them jump RIGHT back into explaining how a whale is a fish because 1) it swims in water and you’re still only like halfway through the dmv line

Park Ranger X-Files TV show now please