ur not evil babe ur experiencing a human emotion
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@chessys
ur not evil babe ur experiencing a human emotion

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I would literally be unstoppable if I didn’t have that persistent pit in my stomach that everyone in a room is just a little bit annoyed by my presence
imagine if your twink boyfriend had a horrible little hairless pet who could talk but it called you fat all the time and tried to break you up out of sheer malice but your bf is just sooooo sweet and has just been through so much so you want to kill that hateful creature with a stick but that would make him sooo sad so you have to be nice about it. that's what samwise gamgee went thru
my socrates

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i hear an american say the word cunt and i immediately want to shrivel up in embarrassment. i just do not think you are good at using that word. due to your nature.
i love yugioh

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does anyone know what the first step of unlearning shame is. please say it’s substance abuse
loved the message dude. the little face at the end... fantastic. an "emoji", i assume. does he represent you or me?
best job in medieval times was probably being the guy who pushes the ladders off the wall when the castle’s getting attacked

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I’m always feeling like wait did I just do something unforgivable? But all I did was walk somewhere or turn in a paper late
“Run into a cave and break your ankle so that people have to come find you and they see you lying at the bottom of this beautiful cave and maybe there’s a waterfall and the light from the crystals makes you look really beautiful and they say “Are you okay?” and you say “I think so” and they say “oh my God have you been here alone this whole time with a broken ankle” and you say “it’s okay” and they say “you’re so brave” and you are brave and you look so beautiful surrounded by cave crystals and everyone stands over you and says “oh wow” and “you poor beautiful thing” and “I’m so sorry we let you run into the cave but I’m so glad we found you” and let them carry you home and promise to be your best friends forever and that everything’s their fault and also they named the cave after you and you’re prettier than all of your enemies and your enemies all died of jealousy while you were in the cave.”
— Daniel M. Lavery, How To Respond To Criticism (via boringoldraphael)
this bitch gets it