knock knock
who's there
deez
sigh
deez who ?
deez are the voyages of the starship enterprise
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@cinossu
knock knock
who's there
deez
sigh
deez who ?
deez are the voyages of the starship enterprise

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chinese mantou (steamd bread or buns) be like
Prof says he'll grade students on a curve, so they organize a boycott of the exams and all get As
Johns Hopkins Computer Science prof Professor Peter Fröhlich grades his students on a curve: the highest score on the final gets an A and everyone else is graded accordingly.
Clever students in Fröhlich’s “Intermediate Programming”, “Computer System Fundamentals,” and “Introduction to Programming for Scientists and Engineers” figured out that this meant that if they all boycotted the exam, they’d all get As.
So they organized a boycott, milling around the hall outside the class where the exams were being sat, sternly reminding each other that if no one sat the exam they’d all get straight As, ignoring Fröhlich’s pleas to come and sit the exam.
Fröhlich praised his students’ solidarity: “The students learned that by coming together, they can achieve something that individually they could never have done. At a school that is known (perhaps unjustly) for competitiveness I didn’t expect that reaching such an agreement was possible.”
https://boingboing.net/2018/04/24/hang-together-or-hang-separate-2.html
Who will ride or die with me this hard
I love that even the professor was like, “YES! They did good!”
He told a bunch of PROGRAMMING students that he was going to grade on a curve.
PROGRAMING.
Like half of programming is looking at sorting algorithms and asking “what could break this?” They looked at the grading algorithm (curve grading) and noticed “if every grade is the same, everything is at the top of the list” and “the easiest way to get all the grades to be the same is to set them all to zero.”
Of course the professor praised them. He may have taught them the exact type of logic that had them organize the boycott in the first place. They found a bug in his grading system and loudly exploited it.
WOAH!
tw: death/souls
WEBCOMIC - INSTAGRAM
Reblog if you think it’s okay to platonically say “I Love You” to your friends
Slams the reblog button so damn fast

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I liked this post, scrolled for like another minute before I went “SHIT FUCK SHIT” and scrolled back to reblog it
I always reblog this one when I see it on my dash. When someone posts their own art, writing, or music here they are really hoping you will share it.
For all my fellow oversharers out there.
As a chronic people-pleaser, this is my advice for success.
Offer as little as possible. Be terse. Get rid of all those exclamation marks and tidbits about why you want to take a sick day. State your needs clearly and concisely without reason. Start saying “No, I’m unable.” more often. Say Thank You only when the other party deserves it.
about fucking time
Reblog to give the prev person some dopamine.
(via Show and Tell - Imgur)
I remember reading this a while back, I’m glad it’s made it’s way to my dash again
things like this are more important than 90% of tumblr
bye im crying
This comic made me feel things!
Hey, the source is not credited properly, so I thought that should be mentioned here. The short comic is from volume 5 of “Flight” comic anthology series. You can get a physical copy if you want to support the comic! The comic artist’s name is Svetlana Chmakova. Please check out her other works “Awkward”, “Brave”, and “Crush” at the library or bookstore! Also available in the ebook version. They all appear in the cute style and the color palette like the short comic.
For a fun fact, Svetlana Chmakova is the same artist who created “Dramacon” and “Nightschool” manga. Also the manga adaptation of ”Witch & Wizard”!
Beautiful

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If I had to read this then so do you all <3
In case anyone doesn't know, to decant a wine is to take it out of the container it fermented in and pour it into a bottle while sifting out the sediment and detritus that has settled to the bottom over the years that it's been closed.
If this story is true, which is so horribly in character that I have to imagine that it is, then they probably had some needlessly extravagant Rich People wine at this party. I'd ballpark at least a couple hundred per bottle, maybe a couple thousand knowing the kinds of brown-nosing marks that tend to spawn near Elon.
What this means is that he was likely drinking yucky dirty shitty Wine Dregs that were potentially rotting for decades, typically consisting of dead yeast, insoluble rotting grape skins/seeds, and honestly probably a bunch of other shit that you HAVE to filter out before drinking "real" wine.
Fucking idiot.
He's the guy with the most money, by the way.
something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.
not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.
you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.
but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.
you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.
but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you "that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.
you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.
you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?
you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.
you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!
you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"
wtf drinking is cool again
I fucking love ao3 authors
OKAY new find new find *shakes hand excitedly*
New one new one new one,!!!!
ocarina of time: adulthood

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what the fuck do you mean your keyboard doesnt have letters
We have no letters Kathleen!
some 8ish years now i reckon
i have naturally acidic sweat. it's a family thing
we have already. They don't know exactly what is up with it, other than the sweat being slightly more acidic than normal and the acidic mantle being thicker and Way more acidic than normal, but it doesn't seem to have anything to do with acidosis. As far as we have tested, our family has had this since at least my great grandpa, and the guy lived to be 93 years old.
What the fuck.
op is a xenomorph descendant from that one time ripley fucked the queen
Sometimes twitter be hitting
This is even funnier with context attached