After The Funeral

Thanks for all the kindness and support I have received recently both for my mental health and small business. The rest of this month I’m going to do some sewing and add some bags to my Etsy shop. When I have inventory I will post here, but I have been so fortunate in my endeavors that I sell my bags before they can even go online. My goal is by next fall to have enough bags and things to have a booth at a craft fair.

Things are still hard, for me and many others, but I get by with a little help from my friends.

I’ve made more quilted totes that I have sold! I’m trying to open an Etsy store but as soon as I make a bag I sell it before it goes online. All these bags have owners but it’s an example of what I make.

Glow in the dark!

An old friend commissioned me to sew her a Beetlejuice bag! Luckily I have access to a lot of juicy fabric. But this time I quilted this with glow in the dark thread in a freehand spider web pattern. It’s very subtle but looks great!

The first thing I made was a quilted tote for a friend.

Then some Beetlejuice pillowcases for me.

A chicken apron with matching oven mitt.

And a couple more quilted project bags.

My life has been exceptionally difficult the past year. Last November my beloved cat Pumpkin passed away and everything went downhill since. I got sick, lost my job, family deaths, car problems, you name it. I went from a dream job to working minimum wage for a fraction of the money I used to make and am not making ends meet. I’m constantly sick, exhausted, and drained. My doctor recently told me I’m malnourished, dehydrated, exhausted and depressed. I can’t afford my bipolar medication anymore and my life is a living hell.

I don’t have a lot of spare time, and when I have a day off I’m usually doing chores or trying to rest. I’d like to get into sewing or at the bare minimum finish a knitting project. Today is my day off and I’m just lying sick in bed overwhelmed and feeling like my heart is beating out of my chest.

I’ve applied for so many jobs, taken some classes, and have only had one job interview I got ghosted on. I have one final Hail Mary, a company several relatives work for is hiring in my field and I feel like I’m the perfect candidate. If I don’t get this job I don’t know what I will do. I cannot live on the streets and I’m not moving back in with my abusive father.

I feel like my friends are sick of hearing me whine. I’m being replaced in my friend groups. My mental health is rapidly declining and I’m getting depressed, anxious and paranoid. For a while I felt like I was masking how I feel but I was recently told I look like a caged animal ready to bite. I rarely put on makeup and go days without brushing my hair. I barely eat one meal a day. I know for a fact I eat under 1,000 calories a day.

Last February I lost my dream job, I was laid off. My life has been extremely difficult ever since. I now work minimum wage and my funds are running out, literally choosing between gas and groceries. On top of that I have crippling carpal tunnel in my dominant hand. Everything is super difficult, drawing is starting to get impossible. I have to go super slow and my lines can be very shaky. And after 20 minutes I’m in debilitating pain. I can’t afford surgery now.

But earlier today some friends and I watched Beetlejuice Beetlejuice and it helped re kindle a deep love for that movie. I’m trying to finish some old sketches I never completed in 2024.

I’d love to write, knit and draw more but I have very limited time and resources. But I think of it often. Thank you to everyone who has been so kind and loving to me.