r.

Is that your phone in your pocket or are yuo penis just square and flat and full of information

BEEP‼️

yeah okay ill reblog that

@official-penis-posts

My dick so old you dial it like a rotary phone

not gonna lie, when i saw that a cybertruck had exploded i legit didn't realize it was some sort of premeditated thing, i just thought it was just another extreme flaw in it's design. i had no idea fireworks were involved, i honest to god thought it just did that on its own

I was fully ready to believe that would turn out to be the case.

I'm still not convinced it wasn't. I read about them and just thought "oh he picked up some fireworks for New Years on the way home, I hate it when people use those".

You know you've fucked up when you go to a doctor and the thing you have wrong with you has been named after an occupation that isn't a thing anymore. Like imagine a doctor looking at you and going "yeah you've got ox-drawn ploughman's disease. We don't even test for that anymore. Yeah the reason you've never heard of it is because the last known case was in 1927 and happened to some guy who was like 98 years old and didn't believe in modern medicine of the time. What the fuck have you been up to."

Here in Sweden we have a pretty active larping community and many of them have a historical setting. I remember a story of a really awesome WW2 larp where, unfortunately, one of the participants hadn't removed his boots for three days straight and it rained the whole time. His feet suffered so much that he had to be taken to the hospital, which was a sight to behold. See, this guy covered in mud and wearing authentic WW2 gear had managed to get an incredibly historically correct case of trench foot. From a trench.

“jinx tells vi that she hopes she and caitlyn at least got to fuck before she kills them” was not on my season 2 bingo card, i’ll tell you that

stop putting touchscreens in cars and get to the features people actually want: oscillating vent fans, visors that move automatically to block the sun, and the ability to fire red koopa shells at people who change lanes without using their turn signal

all puppets have a soul

@calllynx