#team red

Spider-Man: "You really love doing this, don't you ?" Deadpool: "I have no idea what you're talking about." Daredevil: "The kid's right, it shows. Stop it. You're going to end up in trouble or scare him off." Punisher: "What did he do this time ?" Deadpool: "Nothing ! I'm just the happy-go-lucky nutcase of the group ! By the way, Frank, since you're here…" Spider-Man: "No !" Daredevil: "You wanted him to work with us. You begged Peter and me, so stop torturing him with your questions, your jokes, and your fake bouts of insanity." Punisher: "… Wait, he's not usually like this ?" Daredevil: "Yeah, but not this much. My theory is he's testing your limits." Spider-Man: "Or he thinks it's a rite of passage." Deadpool: "Or maybe it's my way of flirting ? It's up to you, Frankie-poo." Punisher: "… I was better off solo." Deadpool: "Nah ! Okay, I'll stop ! Stay ! Peter, get your mask out and give him the sad eyes. Matt, don't bother, he just wants to punch you when you do it."

Deadpool: "By the way, Frank, kudos on the sacrifice." Punisher: "What does he want now ?" Daredevil: "It's a quiet night, we're bored, let him finish." Deadpool: "You helped Petey slip out of the hospital unnoticed." Spider-Man: "Yeah, that's right, thanks again !" Punisher: "It's nothing, kid." Deadpool: "Nothing ? You put on his mask ! I know what it's like to wear a mask for hours ! It's awful ! It stinks, it gets sticky, it gets hot ! I imagine it's a nightmare for your hair afterward. And in this case, you wore the mask of a broke young adult who probably hadn't had time to wash himself or the mask in days. He'd just been through a battle where he sweated and bled, plus he's got that weird mutation thing, you might've caught it like the flu. Frank, I admire you." Punisher: "…" Daredevil: "That's partly why I have a hole for my mouth. I agree, what you did was heroic." Spider-Man: "… My mask doesn't stink." Deadpool: "Teenagers say the same thing about their bedrooms and themselves, and they're all wrong." Punisher: "Can we go back to the part about the mutation I might catch ?" Deadpool: "To me, you're basically the fourth actor to play Spider-Man in the MCU, but don't worry, you're safe. The next one's supposed to be named Miles." Daredevil: "Right, I'm bored again. I'm going to go find some criminals." Spider-Man: "I met a guy once who had a nephew named Miles." Deadpool: "Really ? Bite him and become his mentor ! Or bite his uncle, Childish Gambino would be so cool in the role !" Punisher: "Red ! Get back here, I don't understand shit between the mutations, the roles, and kids with short legs !"

Deadpool: "Alright, Peter and I have an announcement to make !" Daredevil: "Did you stop the Queens gang ?" Deadpool: "You think I'd go to the trouble of bringing out a microphone, doves, and music just for that ?" Punisher: "… No." Daredevil: "No ?" Punisher: "Wait, kid, what about the girl ? MJ ? Peter, she can remember ! You can win her back ! You're not going to go for this loser? He's old, and weird, and a nutcase !" Deadpool: "Hey ! Not cool, future daddy-in-law !" Punisher: "You stay away from my kid !" Spider-Man: "… You cheated." Deadpool: "No, he made deductions on his own before the nickname. You owe me a damsel-in-distress acrobatics session." Punisher: "… What's going on ?" Daredevil: "They bet you'd flip out like an overprotective dad over a joke, and I'm guessing they actually just stopped the Queens gang." Deadpool: "You know me well, Matty. I wanted fireworks too, but they were too expensive."