I'm surrounded by deadpan.

A PORN BOT UNFOLLOWED ME?

When I say "godspeed" (I say it a lot) I like to imagine I'm a member of a futurism religion that worships velocity above all else. Like its the standard well-wishing in my culture. Speedliness is next to godliness. Someday we'll catch him! And the closer we get the more he loves us

I SHOWED IT TO MY FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN HE GAVE ME MY COOKIES AND HE LAUGHED SO HARD HE TOOK MY PHONE TO SHOW IT TO THE OTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT

I don’t know how you got a good grade in being a passenger on an airline but that’s a totally normal thing to achieve and I’m not seething with jealousy at all.

Not only was she fucked into oblivion, but morrowind and skyrim too

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021 (2)

Reblog him face for good luck in 2022

Reblog him face for good luck in 2023

Reblog him face for good luck in 2024

Tump dies tonight while giving his speech in the hot hot sun. Like to charge, reblog to cast

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this post makes me snort every single time

Last night I dreamed that Tumblr used AI to implement a mandatory feature that automatically placed illustrative emojis before all important nouns in posts, like the dialogue in Super Mario Odyssey, except there was something wrong with the AI and it gradually started identifying every noun as "gun".