
JBB: An Artblog!
almost home
Claire Keane
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
$LAYYYTER

oozey mess

shark vs the universe

⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
One Nice Bug Per Day
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
wallacepolsom

Product Placement
dirt enthusiast

â

Kaledo Art
sheepfilms

he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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seen from Malaysia

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seen from Venezuela

seen from Brazil
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@chaoticproximity

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Current mood
mood. and alternatively:Â

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People are âworking from homeâ.
THIS is the Twitter content Iâm here for⌠đ¤Ł
my entire body seized up looking at this lkjalsdfkj
Iâve had this done multiple times. It is NOT GREAT. Even the provider doing it was like âOkay, so this is going to go so far back itâs going to TOUCH YOUR SOUL and Iâm sorry.â That said, she was really good and did it super fast but itâs still JUST NOT SUPER FUN.
this bitch empty, TWEET
Have any of you heard of the Harvard MIT Pigeon Prank?
An MIT student dressed in a black-and-white striped shirt went to the Harvard football stadium every day of one summer, blowing a whistle while scattering breadcrumbs or birdseed to coax neighborhood pigeons down onto the field. At Harvardâs opening game of the season, upon the refereeâs first whistle, itâs said that hundreds of pigeons descended onto the field, causing a half-hour delay.Â
Covid19 Entertainment Masterpost
The Met Opera is releasing a full recording per day.
Feature film archive
Open library
MS-DOS Games
 The Live Music Archive
 Ephemeral VHS collection
Berlin philarmonic
Museums
Peaches the Mouse by @my-darling-boy
450 Ivy League courses
Natasha and Pierre, King Lear with Anthony Hopkins and Much Ado About Nothing with Tennant and Catherine Tate
Learn Ancient Languages
Live stream from Monterrey Bayâs Aquarium via @hummingbird-hooligan
Project Gutemberg via @sailoreuterpe
Bob Ross on twitch! via @ponteh2dhh1ksdiwesph2tres
Also, audiorecordings of classic books on youtube. Excellent post OP.
The Dragonborn, about to make a deal with another daedric prince and knowing there's going to be a bloodbath over their soul when they die:

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Merry adventures at chateau Dâonterre!
aka tfw your pals are a bunch of wussies and you gotta do everything yourself
When the whole party is down but your bard is up
2019 Fashion year in review. (via @rover_thecat)
That mouse necklace!Â
That is a cat with a LOT of affection for the person holding the camera
Geralt, squishing Jaskierâs face between two pieces of bread, idiot sandwich style: What are you?
Jaskier: A snack
Geralt: No.
I vibe REALLY hard with those unhinged oracle type characters who live in a hole in the ground and spout incomprensible garbage to passing travelers that somehow aids them on a quest
traveler: ho there, lady of the hollow, do you have any wise words to impart?
me, drunk off rotten apples and swinging my tits in a wild circle like a helicopter: you canât kill what doesnât fear god, however itâs nearly dinner time for the ancient ones
traveler: thatâs fucking horrifying, Iâll be off

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Take me to chur-
Wait, no. Take me far, far away. Lets never go to church again.
Humans are unstoppable...Until they arenât.
Iâm not the most eloquent writer, but Iâve had this idea kicking around for a while and figured Iâd put it out into the universe.
A lot of the basis for the âhumans are space orcsâ stuff is the idea that weâre pretty durable compared to many species, yeah? When it comes to physical trauma, we can bounce back from most things that donât kill us outright, especially given the benefit of hypothetical space-age technology, and adrenaline is one heck of a drug when it comes to functioning under stress.Â
But that doesnât make us unkillable, and even though we can survive debilitating injuries and not die from shock, it doesnât mean itâs fun. Dying of shock sucks, but at least itâs probably quick.
So - Imagine a ship, adrift in space, slowly being drawn into a star or something. In order to save the ship, someone has to repair the hyper-quantum-relay-majig on the hull or in the engine or whatever. Bit of a problem though- thereâs a ton of deadly, deadly radiation (Wrath of Khan style) or poisonous fumes or, I dunno, electrical current, between the crew and the repair. Like, enough to kill most species instantly, so the crew is just like, âwelp, guess weâll die thenâ. But then.
BUT THEN
They ask the human. Because everyoneâs heard the stories - youâre basically unkillable, right? Could you survive long enough in there to fix it? And their human goes real quiet for a second, but still says âYeah, I could fix itâ. And the rest of the crew is like, âWhaaaaaa, it wonât kill you?â and the human repeats âI can fix itâ (which isnât an answer, but no one catches that, not yet at least), so they send âem in. And the human fixes it, they come back, the ship flies to safety, and the crew is thrilled to survive. If the human is a little quiet, well, theyâre entitled after pulling off a miracle. Everyone else is just excited to get to the nearest stationâs bar to tell their very own human story, cuz, âthose crazy humans, amiright?â.
The good mood keeps up until the human is late for their next shift. At first itâs just faint unease, but- but they earned a bit of a lie-in, right? No reason to begrudge them some extra rest, even if it is a little weird for them to oversleep. Theyâll be fine. Humans are always fine.Â
(Right?)
(âŚWrong.)
- What is⌠help. Help!-
- ake up! You have t-
- been days. You need sleep, you-
- nother transfusion. We could-
- out of sedatives!-
A week later, the crew finally reaches the station. They stumble into the bar, haggard and haunted. And over the next months and years a new rumor about humans starts to make its way through space. A rumor unlike any before.
âBe careful with your humansâ it whispers. âTheir strength is not always a blessing. Be sure they donât do something they canât come back from, because when a human dies⌠they die slowly.â
The thing is, humans can be tricky. And if theyâre sufficiently pack-bonded with a shipâs crew? And that crew is in danger? Theyâll willingly offer themselves up to make sure the crew survives.
They wonât tell their crewmates that whatever danger it is will just kill them slowly, that they can endure the exposure but not the long-term effects.
But the idea that humans can be fragile? Can die later from exposure to radiation or toxins or electricity or even smoke inhalation?
It seems preposterous!
There are too many stories about humans surviving all sorts of conditions that would kill their other crewmates. A human dying slowly, later, lingering and in agony? Itâs a creepy story but of course itâs not true.
But then⌠another crew shares their own story. Their human volunteered to go into the danger zone to fix what needed to be fixed. Or maybe she had to retrieve a critical component or resource. And she lingered. Wasted away. Later the human doctors told their medical team there was nothing they could do but make sure she was comfortable, ease her pain before the end.
And yet another crew, whose human plunged through smoke and ash to make sure his crew could escape. He choked and coughed and couldnât get enough air. Their medical commander performed an autopsy and found his lungs and throat and sinuses all coated in black soot and blackened mucus and red blood.
So the stories spread. Just because they donât die of shock, just because they donât die right away doesnât mean it wonât kill them. They linger in agony or unconscious or waste away slowly.
But whatâs most horrifying of all?
When other humans hear the stories from the traumatized crewmembers?
They arenât surprised or horrified.
They say âOf courseâ
They say âI would have done the sameâ
They say âit was the Right Thing to doâ
And theyâll smile (what the crewâs human would have called a sad smile) and toast to the dead. For making âThe ultimate sacrifice for the folks they lovedâ and every human listening will say the name and drink a shot of liquor.
#close encounters of the awkward kind#I think my favorite aspect of this whole storytelling phenomenon weâve got going#is it very quickly shifted from âhumans are terrifying space orcsâ#to âhumans are pitbullsâ#strong and vicious when provoked; incredibly gentle with those they love; will absolutely fight to the death out of loyalty#the bottom line of this folklore weâve all built together seems to be that weâre not monsters and weâre not weaklings#weâre dogs
Human: *does a heroic thing*
Starfleet Captain: Good boy! *ruffles the humanâs hair*
humans are space orcs. space orcs are good dogs.