Not all who wander are lost.

barista just asked me "... and who are you?" instead of asking "can I get your name?"

i didn't even do anything

they should invent joints that don’t hurt

you have to understand kittens will be tiny sometimes and that is because they are small

“nobody in miami knows how to drive” “nobody in austin knows how to drive” “nobody in chicago knows how to drive” maybe we shouldnt have cars

Maybe we should find people who are good at driving and give them really big cars, and then people can just pay a small fee to be driven around the city. Maybe in a regular loop so people always know where they'll be at certain times of the day.

But what if those really big cars were also really long and fast?

And what if they ran on electricity? But what to call them?

Fantabulous Looping Electromnibus!

I like the way you think

This f***er just out there quilting chocolate

I have the biggest dick in 40 square miles

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