Actually a Raven

That but with weight.

It's time for Scarlet's cunty bob era. There will be no survivors

SHE NEVER QUITS!!!!

> Elisabeth Bik is on patreon <

"Her work has resulted in 1,686 Retractions, 269 Expressions of Concern, and 1,256 Corrections (as of April 2026).

Worker: We order everything fresh from a reliable source.

Me: That's great, I just wanted to let you know just in case.

Worker: Well it couldn't have been us, we follow a very strict procedure.

Me: ....Okay, yeah, I'm not looking for compensation or anything. It could have been something else. I just wanted to give you guys a heads up in case, I don't know, something happened in transit, or someone has the flu or something.

Worker: They don't. We don't do that.

Me: ......

Me: Okay well like I said, I'm not calling to complain, we're just covering our bases. Thanks though.

Worker: Okay. Have a good one.

Me: You too

*click*

Me to my brother: They say it wasn't them

hundreds of thousands of dollars spent on lawyers to deny a child medical care that keeps her alive, rather than spending it on keeping her alive.

“Huh,” said Dad very casually. “Did you get charged for it?” 

I spent the next five minutes checking my bank account and came back into the living room to announce, “No, I didn’t. Do you think it’s a mistake? But it has my name on it! what does this mean”

It was around the time that I started to sound panicked that Dad confessed to buying it for me (“I didn’t realize the mystery of it would be so terrifying”). Which was very, very sweet and slightly unfortunate because yesterday I purchased a replacement kindle for myself. 

“But who would do this?” she said to my father who said he was sure he had no idea. “A student? A stranger? Someone who broke into my car to steal it but felt bad about how dirty it was? WHO??”

Eventually Dad was like, “Honey. It was clearly me.”

We hated them. We didn't really clock the nationalist nature of the thing but we we hated being asked to stand in a big group and sing songs for nobody. It was boring and goofy. Thinking about it now, it really was just our teachers using us as fodder for a Mass Ritual to Prevent 9/11 from Happening Again.

Eventually, some kids developed a sort of game. The ceremony had all these little dramatic pauses between sections of a speech or in-between songs. Kids would wait for those little pauses and, right before the song started, just shout "NINE ELEVEN!" There was a voice for it to. You had to sound kinda like a Patrick Star or a similar exaggerated dunderhead type character.