Mrow

the thing is, stephen king is generally pretty good at creating complex, well-rounded characters, which makes it all the more jarring when one of those characters abruptly comes out with what i'll term a "kingism". i don't know how best to define a kingism other than "you'll know it when you see it". it's the voice of the author intruding on the voice of the character, and in this case the voice of the author has a bad sense of humour and is ravenously, inexplicably horny

These are all from Needful Things, which was written during King's "coked out of his fucking gourd 24/7" era. Pretty much all Kingisms come from those books.

food doesn’t actually “go bad”, it just gets eaten by something else first

I HAVE TO DO THE WORK SO THAT MY LIFE CAN BE DIFFERENT AND I CAN REAP THE BENEFITS

my super sustainable bmw

17. Never attribute malice to my daughter which can be equally be attributed to ignorance.

18. The human whose name is written on my daughter shall die

image description: a screenshot of Squidward from Spongebob Squarepants looking terrified. / end description

every so often I come across a kink post about like being kidnapped and tortured or held at gunpoint or begging for ones life for sexual purposes and I understand its going for a very haggard frail thing being taken advantage of vibe but in my mental image it really just comes off the same as that picture of wolverine strapped to a nuke

This is the funniest image I’ve seen in years like this is probably the very worst thing that could possibly happen to anyone ever and the artist somehow perfectly conveyed the correct level of emotion he’d be feeling like dude it’s over but what else are you supposed to do

There needs to be a movement of people putting paint in fire extinguishers and super soakers and just covering every security camera that has been put up over the last forty years with paint or just pulling them down with like shovels and hoes or whatever they can do because honestly everyone hates them just get rid of them

This looks like a tool from the Billboard Liberation Front. I’ll bet they have a lot of other nifty tips that could be applicable in this case.