this year i understood things about writing/art that i don't think i really understood before. writing has always felt to me like eating and sleeping, something i had to do, but with poetry, memoir/blogging and theory i'd never experienced quite the same magic i have now discovered with fiction. which is funny cause i used to not read fiction at all because i didn't 'trust it'.
Lily said that art that purely imitates reality can sometimes hide the invisible substance of things and i feel like i'm discovering that in the sense that the process of sublimation that happens during fiction writing as opposed to non fiction feels 'complete' in a way non fiction doesn't quite reach. like the actual substance of things is only successfully transformed through fiction.
when people talked about art and how transformative it was for them i thought it was an exaggeration, now i really do get it. i watched hamnet the other night and while i don't think paul mescal (whom i love) suited the role very well and jessie buckley stresses me to death i really resonated with the final scene where she suddenly 'gets it' and hamnet comes alive. i love how the right film always comes to me more or less randomly.
talking about things coming to me randomly. the other crazy thing about fiction is that symbols will manifest as i write and till several pages later or even the end i will not know what they're there for. at first they make no sense to me, and then suddenly something else unfolds, which i also wasn't planning, and the symbol explains itself. this happens with poetry too though, it's all that happens in poetry really, but fiction having a (usually) chronological narrative makes it feel like some sort of revelation that you were sent on a journey to experience. it's almost as if i was guided by something else, the story itself or a higher power. i call it the spirit of the however many words i wrote that day.
gummygunk
dailybridgerton
vaporwave
titsay
annaxmalina
kaledo-art
stormborns