Sometimes when we talk, she's short in what she says. Not every time, but sometimes. Sometimes, something else is going on, and it's just heavy for her.
Other times... Other times, I think she just doesn't want to talk with me. And I fear in these moments she wants to be done with me for good. And I feel bad. I feel bad for annoying her or worse, when it's not my intention at all, I just... I just want to talk with someone I care about very, very much. And hopefully brighten her day.
I feel at these times like maybe I shouldn't talk with her again, but then she'll later talk, usually in the group chat but sometimes with me, in such a way that indicates she's also talking with me. And there are times she obviously does enjoy conversation with me.
Still, there are these times I described, like right now, where she obviously doesn't want to talk much, and I just feel guilty for talking. And I feel torn between wanting to never bother her again, and the hope and knowledge that she still does want to talk sometimes.
I need to drink. But it won't make things better, I know.
