you want to watch me bleed,

a big thing abt the nature of ryan and naim's intimacy that i would love to see more people writing/talking about is the fact that ryan has the ability to just . switch off naim's brain. there's hints of it in their mill kisses but it's so clear in the bus scene and it makes me want to scream bc !!!!! i know we all bully naim for how much noise he was making but it's actually such an important marker of what naim gets out of intimacy with ryan—a chance to give up control, let his mind go blank, and just feel pleasure. naim is so quiet elsewhere in the film. he's a mostly silent crier, goes non-verbal when he's frightened, spends most of his time picking at his nails in too-big clothes with his head down hoping nobody notices him. joe described naim as an observer, someone who watches on from the sidelines, paralysed by anxiety, shame, and an endless stream of what ifs. but when he's with ryan we see naim teasing, laughing, talking more than he feels he should and getting embarrassed about it. and when ryan's touching him, we see naim pause for a moment, teetering on the edge of uncertainty, but all it takes is soft look, a gentle "it's okay" from ryan, and naim is able to let go. in the bus scene, for once naim isn't worried about what he looks or sounds like, totally lost in the feeling that ryan's giving him. and through that we get to see that for naim sex with ryan isn't just about getting off, it's one of the only times he can let go of all his anxiety and think abt nothing else. nothing else except ryan, and how good he's making him feel.

forehead kisses and palm kisses and neck kisses and tummy kisses and cheek kisses and

I’m literally cute