professional pigeon admirer

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

Tump dies tonight while giving his speech in the hot hot sun. Like to charge, reblog to cast

If you close your eyes right before the rat hits, your brain will think that you have died. some people find calmness in this.

I was debating pre- and post- smartphone existentialism with an older gentleman today and he stopped part way through and said “Why are you a security guard? Why aren’t you teaching this at some college somewhere?” And I didn’t know what to say so I went with “Well I used to make art but nobody pays an artist”

I want to invoke thought and wonder and introspection and encourage the passions of every soul I meet forever and ever and dig until I find the glorious potential for creation and experience and joy in every single one but unfortunately I must pay rent and so I stand, a meat shield, an NPC with unlockable dialogue

#capitalism brain tells you that anyone interesting must fight to the top of their interest#and precludes the possibility of everyone everyone everyone already being interesting

i love poison omelette

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got some kick to it i tell you what

It’s so funny when ppl use the term “taken” to signify that they’re in a relationship……..like girl are you ok. Do I need to call Liam neeson

locked in? no. i'm tucked in. goodnight

fuuuck I could use a mysterious benefactor right now

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

interesting dates on this post

those aren’t dates, they are explicitly stated to be cranberries