One day, my log will have something to say.

Canonically, Snape doesn’t wear anything but underwear and possibly a shirt (I made that up, there’s no evidence that he wears a shirt) underneath his robes. However, I do not accept this for a variety of reasons. So: what does he wear? Classic high rise suit pants? The more traditional medieval hose? Long socks without trousers? Bonus points for garters.

My reasoning for high rise suit pants is that they are an older fashion, and the Wizarding World, estranged from muggle society, likely keeps older fashions for longer periods (such as keeping robes instead of adopting muggle clothing). And I think it’s hot. Also, I don’t think he would wear shorts, because in the time that he grew up (and it is still so in many countries), shorts were largely reserved for little boys and exercise (many men still elected to wear trousers because, again, shorts were for boys).

Moving on.

Reasons that I cannot accept Snape being half naked underneath his robes, as is true in canon:

1.) Catholic priests in the modern era ALWAYS wear clothing underneath their cassock, contrary to semi-popular belief. In medieval times, there were some orders of monk that wore very little or even nothing, but most wore a form of trousers or waist garment longer than underwear

The same is true for medieval men in general. They didn’t just have their bare, hairy legs out. Typically, unless you were some variety of monk, there was a form of garment that passed the knees underneath the tunic or upper layer of clothing (Snape’s robes).

2.) I believe, but I’m not completely sure, that in Harry’s era, the students at Hogwarts wore clothing underneath their robes. Feel free to correct me on this if you have evidence to the contrary.

3.) Given Snape’s past traumatic experiences with having his underwear etc. revealed, I can’t imagine that he wouldn’t want to have an extra layer of protection keeping his legs and underwear safe from prying eyes. We all know that JKR hates to think ahead unless absolutely necessary to the plot, because there are many discrepancies like this.

They do seem to wear modern underwear - I think Ron was described as wearing it at least...? I'd assume thats trickled in from Muggle culture because it's nice to have balls held snug to the body. Source: positive reactions to holding peoples balls close to their bodies - and the many designs of underwear that focus on holding balls close to the body in different ways.

But that might even be niche, or a modern development: The amazing, wonderful, beloved Archie Aymslowe (aim's low!!!! I just got that!!!! oh my god) refuses to wear trousers (magic is stored in the balls). I don't recall that being treated as an unusual thing for him to say, just that he was being difficult by not blending in as a Muggle.

'Trousers' being a strange piece of clothing adult Wizards weren't sure about. Some choosing to wear dressing gowns or kilts instead. I would think hose also 'stems the magical source' - it's wool.

I do like the idea of them being a traditional thing to wear - but hose were coloured and decorated, made to be seen - like stockings, tights or long socks are today.

I think we typically hear robes described as reaching the floor, or the foot. Hose would be paired with a much shorter robe, surely (or a tunic, or dress) to show them off?

Severus knows what trousers are, he was raised with Muggles - but I think that would affect his view of them negatively. He was desperate to leave Muggle things behind and integrate with Wizarding culture - and traditional Wizarding culture at that.

My view of Severus: is that being stripped nude wasn't particularly traumatic for him. Not as much as fucking up his friendship, the general humiliation of the event - and being constantly harassed by people he knew were doing similarly socially unacceptable things but weren't ever punished for it because they 'acted good'. Failing his relationships, being viewed as weak and general injustice have affected him far more than just 'nudity', basically.

The way he has dealt with these vulnerabilities has never been to change himself. He doesn't try to become 'more normal' when he is called weird - he becomes more weird. So I don't think, after having his skirt flipped up and his underwear taken off for a crowd, he would concede to hiding himself more. Especially not with Muggle clothing.

Like his reaction to being exposed might be to ditch the 'greyed' underwear entirely. Real Wizard behaviour. Doing Archie proud. Covering any anxiety about being exposed by being too strong of a Wizard to ever be put in that situation ever again. He hangs out with Voldemort. He isn't going to be dangled again.

In the books he is also always described as having billowing clothes that hang off him and stuff. Even as a kid - clothes that are too big for him, blouse and coat, are what he is associated with. I don't think the tightness of trousers or hose would appeal to that.

So I'm in the camp of leaning him towards more traditional Wizarding habits, such as wearing only underwear or nothing under his robes.

I like your points, and I like your argument that on the contrary of covering himself up more due to exposure or ridicule, he might actually go commando or become even more traditional. Sometimes I neglect to acknowledge some of his conservativisms. I associate conservatism with “toning it down” rather than being flamboyant in certain respects. For example, conservatives may be proud to wear regalia indicating their allegiance to a social structure, but in my experience, usually adhere to that social structure by not making dramatic fashion choices, as you say Snape might be inclined to do (no underwear is a little Much, even if you’re a magical being who can magically warm your balls, but Severus Snape is also a little Much). I’m also pretty passive aggressive and would rather make someone uncomfortable than confront them, while he is pretty similar, but to a much higher degree, and more confrontational than I am, so he does things that I wouldn’t act on or even consider. He definitely is the kind of guy to double down on something after being insulted for it, which I can appreciate, even if it’s not always (or even usually) the best decision socially.

I wanted to elaborate that I don’t think Snape’s Worst Memory is his worst memory because of the bullying, which was the norm for him, but rather because he lost a friend. Still, getting pantsed and having your genitals (I fucking hate this word. It’s like how some people hate the word moist. It just feels wrong to me. I wanted to use it in the original post, but went out of my way not to because it disgusts me) exposed to like two hundred+ other kids would fucking suck, no matter who you are or how nonchalant you think you are, so I do think it’s valid that he would want to have some sort of concrete preventative measure in place, apart from a reputation as a scary or intimidating motherfucker. I think he definitely prefers his reputation to protect him, rather than having to do it manually, because he’s sort of sly and conniving and very proud of his intellect, but after having experienced such an intense assault on his body, but more importantly, his pride and dignity, he might be compelled to resort to more extreme measures — muggle pants *said with an air of disgust*.

(This paragraph is a whole lot of nothing. Feel free to skip.) The Fantastic Beast and blah blah blah franchise kind of did a number on my perception of wizarding world canon. Newt Scamander’s dress is definitely unusual (very colorful for daytime casual wear in that time period, and he wears a bow tie in the daytime), and it’s noticeable when you look at what the muggles are wearing, which tends to be darker and less conspicuous. Still, what he wears and what other wizarding characters wear in those movies, even in the company of other witches and wizards, isn’t too far out of the ordinary for that time period. You know, not too many billowing robes and whatnot. Even Grindelwald and other more conservative wizarding characters can be seen wearing typical muggle attire. BUT, I think it’s mainly for aesthetic and storytelling (time period recognition) purposes, and witches and wizards wearing so much muggle clothing in the privacy of their own homes and wizarding communities probably would not hold up if the movies had been written as books. Unfortunately, I love fashion from that era, and I incorporate it into anything I can. Fantastic Beasts gives me an excuse, even if it’s not a great one, to give a little Downton Abbey Peaky Blinders flair to something I enjoy. But, in using that excuse, I would have to concede to movie canon, which I am not very fond of. I do a lot of drawings of Harry Potter et al and student!Snape in robes instead of collars and ties, even though I love the look of the school uniforms in the movies. To be fair, it gives me an excuse to draw Snape’s neck which is hidden by a tall collar and cravat in the movies.

I’m done rambling. Loved your points. Snape probably doesn’t wear trousers, but I might draw him in them for aesthetic (lustful x2) purposes anyway.

TL;DR: You’re probably right, but I am consumed with hatred of men’s legs and lust for Snape’s waist in high rise, straight cut suit pants.

Really I don't think there is an incorrect answer here, especially when lustful intent is involved. The books are canon but I think we all deserve a little treat for our troubles and Severus deserves to have his balls held warmly. and private.

Severus could wear trousers (practical) 🤝 Severus should wear trousers (sexual)

I deal with the cognitive dissonance caused by the costumes of the FB films by telling myself:

"Plot points are happening in largely Muggle or Muggle-adjacent spaces - so they are disguised. America has a huge 'blend in' culture so their fashion is just the same as Muggles, while Newt is more... flamboyant, but trying to fit in. England is unusually culturally distinct from their Muggles compared to most places - which is why Voldemort thought he could get a foothold there more easily than starting elsewhere, like Albania."

Behold! Snape in jorts:

More presents from the Scots =D

Should be "Boston ________", but nOoOoOo.

You got me, NYT; you got me.

GOT ME AGAIN, CONNECTIONS, YOU CUNTS.