thank you black mold

hits your cervix with my car

the enemy drank water today. did you?

i drank water three days ago. im several steps ahead of the enemy. this is what it takes to win

wish we had more internal organ emojis

“Did the journal factory explode?” Yes because I bombed it. #PutYoBusinessOnTheInternet

don't be mean to yourself that's you

you live there

my new poker strat: start tearing up after looking at my cards no matter what i got

you shouldnt have to pay for the dentist. the dentist should pay me for satsifying their weird fetish

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

many dishonourable knaves in the notes of this post

why did you just touch me with a 10ft pole

u gotta keep bothering people until you find the ones that love it

A rest day isn't enough. I need one billion years alone in a crystal.

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

the rumors are true: i dont feel very good

my orc bard in Pathfinder is named Gronk Ballspeaker