a weapon to surpass metal gear

why dont they teach our kids somethibg useful in schools like how to make youtube poops or speedrunning dark souls

i am actually insufferable once I get comfortable with someone

What a beautiful thing to be someone a friend feels safe to be vulnerable with

how dare you turn my self-deprecating midnight rambles into a hopecore positive post

Get hoped

so ive been meaning to do this poll for a while because my hypothesis is that seattle is the most Tumblr city, likely in the entire world. tumblr has a huge american majority userbase obviously, but just for comparison going forward, only 0.22% of the american population lives in seattle. as of this reblog, this poll is showing 4% of respondents are seattleites. given, this isnt scientific at all, because my blog just has a lot of seattle connections and seattle followers, but it's still an impressive bias

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

it's actually sick you get tired of eating the same food over and over when some animals they just eat grass all day mind you. just another pointless challenge mechanic added in by big universe to get you to go to the grocery store

Was literally thinking about this when I gave the rabbits their breakfast, the same dry pellets they get twice a day every day, and they were so hyped for it, as they always are. Why can't I have that where are my pellets #mypellets

due to popular demand you can now stream the Slur Song for free without Spotify, using my new streaming service slurify.co

Pretty amazing that the website dedicated entirely to streaming slurs is somehow more ethical than spotify

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

I love this post

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

you’re laughing. i told you a joke and you’re laughing. i love you

the best piece of relationship advice i ever got was “a relationship isn’t 50/50, it’s 60/40 with each party excited to be the 60”. which to me means that you should be with someone who makes you want to do more, be more, open your heart even wider. why WOULDNT you like making life easier for your loved one(s)?

does anyone else think about how brave all their friends are and get really emotional about it

I'm glad everyone is alive rn

hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul

If you stay up late to hang out with friends I don’t think you should have to be tired in the morning. I think it should be a freebie