I Can Do This All Day

It starts when Steve bets $50 on them not being able to be act civil for one month and they were willing to ignore that, but literally nothing is more annoying than Steve Rogers when he’s proven right. And then Sharon threw another $50 in the pot and Natasha doubled that, Wanda added $10 and Clint threw in whatever cash he had on him ($5.69) so they both silently and simultaneously decide that they can definitely outbet these assholes. 

Bucky starts by giving Sam the key to his apartment. The one that’s in Bucharest and has been blown to bits. 

Sam buys Bucky a new burner phone. On the side it says “SENIOR CITIZEN PHONE. WATERPROOF, PRESSURE RESISTANT. INCLUDES EMERGENCY BUTTON.”

Bucky buys Sam an entire room full of flowers that, with all 34 bouquets combined, means “your music taste is awful and your pet is a weird robot” flower language. 

Sam makes Bucky a mixtape - as in with actual analogue cassette tape and Bucky has to go hunt through thrift stores for something that will play the damn thing. When he does, he finds out that side A is full of insipid pop songs that will not leave his head for days and side B is “Never Gonna Give You Up” on loop. 

Bucky makes Sam an elaborate three-course dinner of all the food Bucky knows Sam dislikes. Not hates, just…food he’s wouldn’t willingly pay for in a restaurant, because it’s too fancy or too bitter or too overrated for him to like. It’s all under-seasoned, although Sam doesn’t know if it’s deliberate. 

Sam makes Bucky breakfast in bed. He makes Bucky’s favourite food that’s just a little off to be enjoyable. Pancakes with slightly stale maple syrup and burned edges. Avocado-with-eggs on toast with not-ripe-enough avocados that taste bitter. Coffee that’s far too weak and with far too much milk.   

Bucky takes Sam to the movies to see that the new Star Wars that’s he’s been waiting for for months - as in following casting news, behind-the-scenes pics, promo interviews, obsessively watching trailers, waiting for. He gets pre-screening tickets and then distracts Sam throughout the most important bits - which is not an easy job - by crunching his popcorn, then holding Sam’s hand, then doing the yawn-and-stretch maneuver and eventually they up aggressively necking the cinema as Han Solo gets stabbed (Sam could pull away and watch but that would be losing. Also, Bucky is a surprisingly good kisser). 

Sam gets revenge by renting the Disney collection boxset and talking through the movies and checking his phone through the exciting parts. They end up aggressively cuddling and falling asleep on the sofa, both of them too proud to admit that the best night of sleep they’ve had in months was in eachother’s arms.

Y’ALL

Y’ALL

he just really likes cats

Aw Anon, that blows :/ 

So, I was talking with someone who was feeling pretty down about having a Cap tattoo right now, and I’ll tell you what I told them: 

You know, having him in ink means you own him, you own that piece of him the same way we all do, and nobody’s allowed to say what happens with your piece of Captain America. So in that sense you’ve got more right than most to say it’s bullshit and ignore it. 

Jewish people made Captain America and his origin story is inherently intertwined with the combat of anti-Semitism. Which means you, also, as a Jewish person, own a piece of Captain America that’s larger than most, and you get to say it’s bullshit and ignore it. And be angry about it, too. But never forget that you own part of this story, and they can’t take away seventy years of your ownership. 

Marvel may, institutionally, be supporting a rank piece of antisemitism. I won’t disagree. But the best way to combat this particular incident, at least in my admittedly gentile opinion, is to continue to support good, solid, inclusive books and to let this one languish. Every time a writer writes a book that tanks, that’s one step further from writing another; every time an editor backs a book that tanks, that’s a vote of no-confidence in their next stupid book. The winds are changing. Slowly, but they are. Reward the good, punish the bad. Teach Marvel that it can’t make money off this kind of behavior, and it’ll stop doing it. Yell as loud as you want, they deserve it, but if you’re tired and sad and can’t yell, all you have to do is Not Buy the book, which is very easy to do. I know sometimes the fight is exhausting. I give you permission to just Not Buy the book. 

Genetics: Do not. Unless cheek swabs?

Chemistry: NO!!!!! DO NOT!!!!!!

Archaeology: Perhaps. But might be human bone.

Geology: Sometimes needed, sometimes dangerous 

Psychology: Best not.

Physics: ????????? How??????

Botany: You might hallucinate or die, OR it might be delicious

Computer Science: the tingle of electricity on your tongue is how you know it’s working