It's great to be alive with you

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

What other sites fail to realize is that tumblr is prohibition era america for porn. You can't barge into any search function and go asking for it, but if you know where to go and who to ask it's absolutely still being provided. It's grown over the past years so much that these days you can't step into a taxicab without being offered porn by the driver

[I.D. a screencap from it's always sunny in philadelphia of mac saying "oh my god! that's disgusting. where?" end I.D.]

What other sites fail to realize is that tumblr is prohibition era america for porn. You can't barge into any search function and go asking for it, but if you know where to go and who to ask it's absolutely still being provided. It's grown over the past years so much that these days you can't step into a taxicab without being offered porn by the driver

And just like alcohol during prohibition, it's gotten weirder and stronger during the prohibition.

swordfish

What other sites fail to realize is that tumblr is prohibition era america for porn. You can't barge into any search function and go asking for it, but if you know where to go and who to ask it's absolutely still being provided. It's grown over the past years so much that these days you can't step into a taxicab without being offered porn by the driver

never related to authors being like "childhood is such a blessed innocent time", catch me with that jane eyre shit like "such dread as children only can feel" and "I then sat with my doll on my knee til the fire got low, glancing round occasionally to make sure nothing worse than myself haunted the shadowy room"

My copy of Andersen's Fairy Tales has an afterword written by Joanne Greenburg; I was probably fifteen or sixteen the first time I read it and this quote has stuck with me for 20+ years: Anyone who remembers childhood as a golden time has memory loss. We seal those years off not because of their irrelevance but because of their anguish. There might be things you enjoyed in childhood that you want to do again, but I say: do them now. There is nothing stopping you from swinging on a swing or coloring in a coloring book or collecting/playing with Barbies. Whatever. DO IT. Don't feel like the fun had to be lost to adulthood, don't feel like you can't bring those few good things into your adult life beside the adult things.

never related to authors being like "childhood is such a blessed innocent time", catch me with that jane eyre shit like "such dread as children only can feel" and "I then sat with my doll on my knee til the fire got low, glancing round occasionally to make sure nothing worse than myself haunted the shadowy room"

I work in landscaping and the image of having to move snails out of my way but now they’re big™️ is cracking me up

the among us show might genuinely be cinema i just watched a crewmate handle an actual fucking g-string

this show is rated tv-pg yet has shown multiple shots of a character flipping us off with both hands which has led me to believe every other tv-pg director is a coward

whats that story about this dude that really wanted to have sex with a clown and get a pie to the face while climaxing

I heard every time he bounced on it, it squeaked.

LOVE WINS 🥳🤡🥧

sure this is a funny story because clowns but also this really is a beautiful moment of human connection