Gage Valtýr

“Say that again, but slowly”

americans think ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN of driving 7 hours. they’ll drive 7 hours just for dinner. they’ll drive 7 hours just for chips and dip

My friend in the UK told me that they only see their father like 2-3 times a year because they live so far away. When I asked how far do they live, they said that it’s a 45 minute drive……. my commute to work, five days a week is an hour.

now we just have to put lasers on them

Comrade Shark

This is perfection

^ Amazing

I feel like this post woke me up to something evil

Man, I love the new remake of IT

it’s their best quality

the lock jammed on the front door of my shitty prewar apartment building so i just spent twenty minutes forcing it open while my very drunk neighbor sat on the steps nodding at my efforts and going “this is fun. being locked out together. we should hang out more”

he’s like 6’2” and jacked at one point he was like “try a kick. try… kicking it” so i donkey kicked it as hard as i could and it did absolutely nothing but he was still like “wow. more torque…. than i expected. you’ve got a surprising, uh. torque to size ratio” and i think i’m putting it on my resume

This is a waste of time. I learned this week about ‘deep fried memes’, which is evidently just adding a Photoshop filter on a meme and calling it a day. Why are so many people reblogging and following shit like this?

lol you are so mad at September Bass Boost

Yeah, it hurts and is not at all interesting.

check it out fellas this guy is for real complaining about Earth Wind & Fire September Bass Boosted

And you should too, being that it’s a representation of the downfall of humor and culture.

sorry, i’ve been so busy telling other people that I’ve forgotten about you - were YOU aware that you are not only mad but, like, eschatologically bothered by the fact that I ran September through an amp and an EQ in Audacity and then posted it?

This is the sound of realizing your joke falls flat.

I can do this shit all night, man. You still haven’t addressed how insane it is that you are mad, butthurt even, about an digital iteration of September somewhere out in the world being edited 500% louder than normal.

Lazy creativity.

Rinsed

Boosted

Ether that shit where your soul burns slow

Because some days you want a small private gathering…and some days Arthur and his Knights drop by.  

That last comment

Wtf is that? A storm elemental?

Ball lightning fuck me all the way up

Excuse me what the fuck is this

storm elemental it is

look guys this is how nature-based deities and spirits come about this is ridiculous

Are you aware that the first-ever video footage of ball lightning outside a laboratory was taken in 2014 and there are only like 3 or 4 videos like this in existence and this might be the most close-up one

theres no way in hell you can guess how this video ends