If just for today, be happy.

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What if the mortals had made her surrender instead? What answers could she have given them about the Barrowdells, out of love for her children? What precedents could she have changed, out of love for her children? In what ways could she have changed if given more of a chance, out of love for her children?

The answer is none, because she didn't love the elves. But she repeated and reinforced that message, "I love you, [name she knows]," to the same individuals for centuries and centuries. Those elves had centuries and centuries to internalize it in the face of any evidence to the contrary. Whosever womb they came from, Sylandri was their mother. They had no surnames to indicate parentage separate from her. They only existed because she allowed it.

The only two characters he seems to have had prior relationships with outside of Thjazi are Bolaire and Thimble, which we know that Bolaire is his dealer and he had some kind of bad experience with Tyranny she keeps bringing up where he started crying that Bolaire is aware of, so it makes sense for him to not want to get very cozy with people he absolutely cannot risk being vulnerable in front of.

He also just had the second worst day of his life hanging around with Bolaire and Tyranny, but also Wick, which then makes Occtis the only other person from a noble house he's around right now (and Julien is a bit of a snob). Julien and Occtis also both very much have their worldviews shaped by the broader caste system they were raised in, so they are the most similar in how they speak to and interact with others. They speak the same language in a way even Wick doesn't because he was raised so religious that the way he was raised to engage with other people is very different from how the children of the other houses seem to behave.

Occtis also knows better than to push Julien, because their upbringings were similar enough that they both understand not to ask questions the other one doesn't want to answer. Occtis has previously been pretty meek anyway, but he's also just not a person who is going to ask Julien about his trauma responses because he doesn't want to invite Julien to ask about his. This part of the dynamic is subject to change fairly easily, but at this moment I think they're both way more interested in dealing with the right now than they are the past or future.

Julien did try to bond with the other martials, but then pretty quickly realized that they had all been on the other side of the Falconers Rebellion and were close friends of Thjazi, so he can't default into the only other world he's comfortable in (being a soldier) which means he's retreated back to being a noble, putting him squarely back in Occtis's orbit. Plus Occtis doesn't have the same deep connection with Thjazi most of the others do. Thimble and Azune will get defensive and angry if Julien talks shit, the worst Occtis gets is annoyed because while he's grateful to Thjazi and I think feels indebted to him, it's not that deep love some of the others have.

Then throw that in Aranessa is gone which puts Julien at sixes and sevens because he doesn't have his anchor of being able to protect someone (his liege, his subordinates, etc) but Occtis is someone who is smaller and physically weaker and hey he's a noble! So Julien can default back into his comfort zone - the thing he was literally raised from the cradle to do.

I also think that proximity to Occtis desensitized him to the dead thing, plus his field trip with Bolaire where he's like "never mind I think I prefer the horror that is within my comprehension" have helped. But also, he has (for lack of a better term) forgiven Occtis for what his family did. After the thing with Tertia and seeing what the Tachonis are comfortable doing to their own children, he's warmed up to him and I think it's because it allowed him to start seeing Occtis as another victim.

In a big way, Occtis is the only tether Julien has to his old life right now. He's an heir with no house, a soldier with no battle, an instructor with no students, and a knight with no liege. He can easily slot Occtis into at least one of those roles in a way that allows him to continue with a familiar pattern of how to interact with the world: he's shielding Occtis the way he had done with Aranessa because Aranessa isn't here and Occtis is the only one he can rationalize doing that to.

The Tachonis scar the bodies of their thralls. That involves tearing, slicing, cutting.

And what does Occtis do?

He sews. He took thread and needle to sew Pincushion back together. He took thread and needle to sew his soul back together.

Back together. Back together. Back together.

The Cloak's ritual involves creating the photonegative of the psychopomp. For Azgra's Blood, the evidence of pain and suffering, it became Paint, the tool for creation and preservation.

There is a rift in the sky where Tansul fell, a giant jagged tear in the planar fabric of Araman. Just like the psychopomps he entrusted the rites of death to, the Shaper of Humans also left a scar.

Doesn't the world have enough scars? Doesn't it have plenty of open, bleeding wounds?