#menelaus

hector was clocking in like that one minimum wage employee keeping the local pizza hut afloat.

achilles had to basically be dragged kicking and screaming to troy, and he spent most of the last year of the war on strike (sulking).

they basically held odysseus’ infant son at gunpoint to make him join.

an argument could be made for menelaus wanting to be there, but the man just wanted to get his wife and get out.

paris may have started this shit but he sure as hell couldn’t finish it. hector had to drag him to the battlefield by ear daily.

Like I'll be having a not-so-good day, then remember how Hector had given himself an entire pep talk to fight Achilles. He saw Achilles running full speed towards him and proceeds to just book it.

Or when Menelaus got shot by an arrow in like in an ultimately nonfatal spot, and Agamemnon begins prematurely mourning him while he's standing there like 🧍‍♂️” you're scaring the men.”

Or when Odysseus is walking around the camps with a royal scepter and is just beating people with it if he finds them packing or suggesting to leave.

Or when Hector is brainstorming on how to face Achilles and for a moment goes, “Maybe I could talk with him, we’re both princes, we can both be rational, I could reason with him… that's a horrible fucking idea.”