Live, Laugh, Oyster

a part of adult life you never really realize as a child is the constant need for bowls in so many different sizes. you're always doing something and going "man i wish i had the right size bowl for this" no matter how many bowl sizes you have

One day ur a suicidal 15 year old and then suddenly you wake up and you're 22 years old and genuinely debating the merits of iceberg vs romaine lettuce in the salad ur making. Life goes on ig

scientist discovers a little animal awww

batman the animated series will be like "the effects of mental illness, if left untreated, can cause even the most well-meaning man to hurt himself and others, and feel so helpless he turns to other methods to cope." and then the next episode is "what if the joker tried to copyright fish"

Me thinking why a whale (big) would eat krill (small) and then I remembered rice (yum)

so few people appreciate the wisdom I have to offer.........

Jurassic World did the Avatar thing where it made a gajillion dollars and left no cultural footprint whatsoever. Name your favorite Jurassic World character. What was your favorite line. It evaporated despite everyone seeing it.

WRONG fav character was the extra that ran away from the pterodactyls with two margheritas in hand

Babygirl I know fandom history that you wouldn’t even care about

i know fandom history that even I don’t care about

we evolved a first layer of skin that can be removed without harming us due to the evolutionary pressures of super glue incidents

i don't need a guard dog butch i need a bumbling henchman butch. like she's very loyal and wants to protect me but she's constantly fucking up my schemes due to being tricked by children and/or talking animals. shes always going “errrr im sowry boss they escaped the dungeon :(“ and i'm always hitting her with lightning bolts. yeah i’ll say shit like “you’ve failed me for the last time you impudent worm” but i never throw her into my volcano despite her obvious incompetence because all of this is ultimately a sex thing