Same As It Ever Was

Hayden is reeling because literally one week earlier he found out that his best friend had kept this awful painful secret. Or felt that he needed to. This is crushing for Hayden, who wants to take care of Shane and be there for him. He's not only dealing with the news of Shane being gay, he's rewriting their entire friendship and the narrative of 'we hate Ilya Rozanov.' Emphasis on 'we.'

['Fun' fact: Hayden actually finds out that Ilya and Shane have been together in some way for almost a decade during the dinner! Shane hadn't told him that and so he is processing that hurt in real time and still manages to apologise.]

As for Shane. Shane tries multiple times to ask Ilya to cool it and stop "intentionally bothering Hayden." He also mentions at the door that Hayden "promised [he] wasn't going to be an asshole tonight" which indicates they had spoken about the goal of the dinner (to have them clear the air).

Comments Ilya makes before Hayden says anything:

Graham Norton showing actors fanart and fanfic to the actors involved - and these actors, Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy, were LOVELY about it (despite GN trying to make it an "ewwww!!!" Thing). It even goes back further - it was shunned, but certainly Sherlock actors were shown fanfic and fanart about their characters AND the actors.

And this has been a widespread thing - but i would argue that the true erosion of boundaries in fandom is really to do with the easy access to celebrities that the aughts brought in. You had Pete Wentz blogging and making jokes about fanfic. You had Twitter giving you near 24/7 access to celebrities, and celebrity culture being what it is, people wanting to be noticed by these celebrities.

But certainly with the advent of TikTok AND Covid causing a variety of breakdowns in societal norms (sometimes for the benefit of folks and sometimes to the detriment), there has been an increase in the vocal minority being absolutely batshit. Unfortunately, they're very loud.

But just like in real life, there are a lack of "third spaces" online. You dont have easy little ways to explore being a weird little freak online that isnt just cracking your chest open on live.

For every article all "this is weird and wrong", there were at least one or two more going "fandom had existed for longer than many of us have been alive."

Folklore student answer: “Also, almost all cultures have something like djinn, faeries, hulder, fox spirits, and other similar creatures who can appear at least human and are very, very dangerous to humans!” 

Genetics aside, various hominid species didn’t start visually looking all that different until 50,000 years ago, while under the skin changes began as early as 89,000 years ago (ie the development of the Y chromosome but I might be oversimplifying at this point) Point being, even our non-human cousins didn’t. look. that. different. from. us. Especially comparing the diversifying of humans themselves crossing trans continental as it was. And even then neandertals still had advantagious traits for living in the Eurasian hemisphere.

Also I digress, regardless of it being intentional, and with few perserved records from that chapter in our species’ history, I don’t like the implication that the uncanny valley effect stems from humans being inherently racist (for lack of a word for hatred of non-human intelligences). I know that sounds off the wall but prejudice and sense of superiority by birthright is vastly different than othering by means of the sucess of social groups and the need to compete for territory or resources. Racism is entirely a Eurpean fabrication and it’s been proven time and time again to be a cultural outlier and purposfully designed to further the agenda of corroded theocratical religious divinity (here, here, here) and the financial benifits of the exploitation of colonism that otherwise has not been replicated by other cultures to the same degree. (this is the only example off the top of my head but I’m know there’s more.)

You know what’s older than racism?

You know what’s more flesh crawling than neandertals?

fucking rabies

You know what LOOKS like a human but doesn’t ACT human ENOUGH? Do you know what might bite you and get you sick or turn you into something that also moves about in a non human way? Brain parasites that give you painful headaches and intensifies agression and confusion.

Say you’re a monkey and one member of your troop gets bitten by something. Later he starts twitching and swaying about. He keeps stumbling out of trees but barely feels anything when he hits the ground. He won’t eat sleep or drink. He makes guttural noises that keep alerting predators and he’s in obvious writhing agony. Suddenly he’s not your friend anymore. He doesn’t recognize you and he attempts to bite and claw at anything that moves.

Up until preventitive oral medications and vaccines were developed in the 1970s there was NOTHING stopping rabies and it still prevails today and kills hundreds of thousands of people in third world countries with limited medical resources a year. There’s no cure for rabies once youve got it and the only reliable diagnostic is a brain autopsy.

Rabies. TB. Leoprosy. Syphilis. Meningitis. Toxoplasmosis. Anthrax. Mercury Poisoning. Prion disease. These are all bad and in different varying degrees can cause limps, sores, agression, confusion or dazed trances, ambled pacing, convulsions or uncharacteristic behavior in humans.

Basically everything that people are terrified of when it comes to zombies. Vampires bite. Werewolves rip people apart. Demonic possesion? Easy. Changlings take the place of your loved ones.

Also I don’t think that it’s a conicidence that the things we find uncomfortable with the uncanny valley also just happen to line up with predatory behavior, smiling too wide or staring you down, blinking too slowly or moving towards you with a slow steady speed. It’s just a danger signal to keep other monkeys in a troop from getting bitten by an infected monkey. Simple as that.

After all what’s scarier? A dead body, or moving body that will MAKE you dead?

I’m not going to be a hypocrite by pointing out racism being excused as a stemmed human behavior without claiming that the deep seated primal fear of disease doesn’t make a good excuse for ableism as well. I mean we use othering to discern friend from foe, and then at some point decided that was a good enough excuse for racism. Theres legitimate proof that ancient homonids could and would be hospitible to the disabled out of compassion. The point of having these initial fears is to guage saftey measures first, but once someone or something is proven to be harmless that normally should be the end of it. I mean if an adult wild silverback gorrilla can look at a spycam and decide it’s chill after a moment of inspection then there’s really no excuse for any of us.

Healthy othering =/= newly invented racism.

healthy fear of infectious diseases =/= excuse to hate disabled people.

this kind of policing is why ao3 was created

remember, kids, the three laws of fandom are:

- don’t like; don’t read

- your kink is not my kink

written for the prompt butch for @hollanovaweek hollanova, rated T, 493 words, read on ao3

-

Shane's head is resting on Ilya's pillowy chest in the king-sized bed at the cottage. She maintains that Ilya's boobs are ridiculously huge for an athlete who works out for hours every day. They feel like heaven in Shane's hands, plush and big compared to her own A cups.

Shane can't get hung up on Ilya's tits. They just had sex after all, and now that they've said they love each other two nights ago, they haven't been able to keep their hands off each other. They'll probably have sex in another hour or two, once Shane's clit stops tingling.

But right now, Shane has a question that has been nagging at her for months—years, really.

"Why do you go by 'Ilya'?" Shane asks, her voice partly muffled by soft breast tissue.

Ilya laughs, and Shane feels the rumble. "It is my name, Shane."

Shane rolls her eyes, sitting up. She doesn't want to leave the warmth of Ilya's chest, but she can't focus in these conditions.

"I know it's your name, asshole. But it's also not, like, your given name."

"Ah, you remember it, huh? I've tried to make the world forget."

"Tse—"

"Tsetsilya," Ilya finishes.

Shane nods and settles against the headboard. Ilya shuffles up and their shoulders press together.

After a long beat of silence, Ilya sighs. "I do not like my name."

"Like, it just doesn't feel like you?"

Ilya runs her hand through her short curls. "It is too feminine. Girly. My father always insisted on calling me my full name. Very unusual in Russia, but I think he wanted to remind me every time we spoke that I am a woman, not the son he wanted."

Shane finds Ilya's hand and interlaces their fingers. "That's awful."

"My Mama called me 'Tsilya' when I was little, and then just 'Ilya' when I got older. Even 'Ilyusha', sometimes. 'Ilya' is usually name for boys, but Mama didn't care."

Ilya told her about her Mama's suicide last night, and Shane's heart is still aching. "Ilyusha," Shane tries. "That's beautiful."

"Ah, that is," Ilya shakes her head and actually blushes, "almost too much. Wow." After a moment, she switches the focus to Shane. "Your name is also usually for boys, yes?"

"Yeah, usually. I got teased for it a bit in school by the girls, but in hockey, when I had to play on the boy's teams, I think it made them take me more seriously. Like once I had my uniform on they could pretend I wasn't a girl at all. It certainly made it easier to avoid having to have a boyfriend," Shane jokes. "And anyway, I've always liked my name."

Ilya squeezes her hand, catching Shane's eye. "I like it, too. And no more boyfriends. Just me and you, Hollander."

"Me and you, Rozanova" Shane confirms grin spreading across her face