You know, thinking about it, I imagine the Leverage crew are pretty philanthropic. Parker might have had to be introduced to the concept (āYou just give them money and they go away with it? How does that work?ā) but probably once she got her head around it sheād be into it.Ā
What gets me is how god damned frustrating it would be to work somewhere that one of the Leverage crew supports. Nate would be okay, heād just make small monthly gifts to ten million different organizations so that nobody thinks heās worth very much (he doesnāt own his home and he gives such small amounts monthly that Development writes him off as an earnest but low-capacity donor who should get a thank-you card around the holidays). Itās probably a bigger inconvenience to him because heās on every nonprofit mailing list known to man. He has so many address labels, guys. (I donāt want to be Nate but I am Nate. I have so many address labels.)
Sophie I imagine has an extravagant alias for every charity she supports; she gives outrageous amounts and in return demands only attention and adulation, tickets to all the galas, and to be in at least one photo in every annual report. We have a donor like this ā sheās genuinely invested in our work, gives generously of her time and money, is never rude or demanding, but if sheās in the room all eyes must be on her at all times. I actually really like her but constant exposure could getā¦tiring.Ā
Eliot just sends enormous, anonymous checks once a year through a shell company or DAF, which while not unusual would be irritating in that they canāt ever reach out to thank him and/or steward him into a larger gift appealing to his interests. They canāt even send him dumb swag! He deserves a charity-branded bottle opener and keychain flashlight! (He has stolen all of Nateās, but they donāt know that.) Still, theyāve probably got a fun nickname for him; I have a few people in my research files who are simply named after characters from Greek mythology because thatās all the data I have or am allowed to store.Ā
For a long time Hardison just dumped money into the bank accounts of his charities of choice, seamlessly, invisibly ā it just APPEARED in the account, and he was cool with that until he checked back after a few years and found none of his money was being used because they couldnāt figure out where it was coming from and were worried it was a clerical error despite the bank assuring them otherwise. Now he still dumps money into the accounts but he entertains himself building an elaborate digital paper trail so that the accounting all works. Have you ever watched a Gift Processing office try to balance a nonprofitās books? Sometimes they cry! Donāt be mean to them, Hardison.Ā
Parker, bless her heart, just leaves bags of money on the doorsteps of random employees with notes directing how, in general terms, it should be spent. If sheās particularly pleased with the climbability of their home, she leaves a donut for them, too. Generally if she mentions sheās done this to the crew, Eliot calls up the charity to assure them that the large bag of cash was a legitimate donation and is not some kind of money-laundering scam. (That was ONE TIME Eliot, and the IRS didnāt even NOTICE.) This happened to me once. A tiny old lady in a Cubs jacket showed up to our office with a backpack full of money and it was a very intense morning.Ā
Anyway, what Iām saying is that every year, across the span of roughly two weeks, Hardisonās Nanaās church gets their regular $25 check from that nice Mr. Ford, a visit from the very devout but slightly weird Madam Sofia who wants a private choir recital, an enormous check from a bank in the Bahamas with no name attached, a large direct deposit from a heretofore-undiscovered bond the church invested in a decade ago, and a large bag of cash with a dozen donuts on it and a note reading THANK YOU FOR THE NEW ROOF IT WAS VERY SLIPPERY AND FUN. PLEASE BUY STUFFED ANIMALS FOR CHILDREN WHO NEED STUFFED ANIMALS.Ā
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