Sometimes the rats in my brain come together and start yelling âYEARNINGâ and in trying to appease them I ask âFOR WHATâ but they are too small so all they can say is âYEARNINGâ which is a very big word for such a tiny creature, even collectively
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Is there beef with the Holstein cows and you or what was that joke lol
It's kind of wild It's just never come up on this blog before, but I HATE holsteins. Bottom 10 cow breeds for me. I hate how they're so common they account for the majority of milk produced. I hate that they're the "default" cow to the point where some don't even know cattle HAVE other colors. I hate their tiny horns (IF THEY EVEN HAVE THAT. LOSER ASS HORNLESS COW) and their painfully massive udders.
Legit I'm trying so hard to not launch into a No Mouth Must Scream style AM speech-- shoot my hand slipped.
(AM speech about why i dont like holsteins below the cut)
For starters, I have to give a brief lesson on what these terms mean; the "Holstein" is the American strain of the "Frisian" breed. Frisians are an ancient breed from Frisia, in the north of what we now consider the Netherlands. Crosses between the breeds are "Holstein-Frisians."
(Thereâs even more to this but im keeping it as simple as possible. Also one of my friends is Frisian and she is probably going to kill me for describing it like that.)
Historically, livestock was adapted to the environment they lived in. Frisians were bred by the Frisii people for hundreds of years in extremely grass-rich, lush, flat environments. The "polders" of the northern parts of the Netherlands. They're huge and eat a LOT of food.
Traditional Frisians were developed to produce as much meat and milk from a single individual as possible, without compromising the health of the cattle with constant inbreeding to get quick gains. We are talking about a breed that is over 2000 years old. They had the perfect environment to make The Ultimate Food Cow and by god they did it. I can respect that.
So, take that, drag it across an ocean to a place that does NOT have polders, and add the rapid enshittification of capitalism to it. BAM you've got a fucking holstein.
There is ONE goal for "improving" the holstein. Make More Milk. As long as the black and white milkbag leaks enough, nothing else matters. Health? Fertility? Feed ratio? Ability to not die of infection? WHO CARES. MILK LINE GO UP.
Over 90% of holsteins are inbred to start with, because Milk Line Go Up. To the tune of having an average COI of 8%-- where extreme negative effects (think Hapsburgs) start to crop up around 10%
Holstein bulls are aggressive bastards (many dairy bulls are), so no one wants to keep intact males in their herds, meaning most cows are artificially inseminated
Not being limited by the natural lifespan of a living bull means that the same stud can keep having direct offspring for decades after his death
Toystory the bull had 500,000 calves before he died, and hit over 1 million offspring in 2015. That's ONE animal and to put this in perspective, there are 9 million holsteins in the US.
DON'T WORRY IT GETS WORSE
Not only can 99% of holsteins be traced back to just two bulls-- 99% of male holsteins share one of two exact Y chromosomes with those two bulls.
The gene pool is so small that it's equivalent to about 60 individuals. Warrior Cat allegiances are larger than that. That's barely bigger than modern ThunderClan.
"Massive lack of genetic diversity" does not begin to capture the existential dread of this situation. Mark my words, WATCH, when the Bird Flu finally mutates a strain that rips through a mammalian population, it's gonna be in the USA and it's going to be through our dairy cattle.
This is not prophecy or me laying a curse on the land, this is the natural consequence of basing the stability of US milk production on the equivalent of 9 million clones of two classrooms worth of individuals, and then packing them in close quarters
And we don't have to wait for doomsday for the impacts to be apparent on the cattle themelves
Holstein fertility has also dropped by half since the 1960s when the intensive inbreeding really kicked into high gear
Because their whole body is dedicating all of their resources to milk production, they have a notoriously "bony" frame.
Show judges, however, like this because they think that's a very "feminine" look for a 1600 pound ruminant. Very normal thing to think.
Like. I don't know if i can communicate this to people who don't look at cows a lot (it's not quite as obviously dramatic as a pug skull) but here is a comparison of an "ideal" show holstein and an "unselected" holstein from a herd that's been established as a sort of "control group" for what they looked like back in the 1960s;
The way that the artery on the "modern" cow's belly runs to the udder like a big pink worm freaks me out the most ngl
The udder also bulges out from between the back legs
The show cow is so thin
And then compare these both to a Holstein-Frisian cross who leans more on the Frisian side;
Proper weight, developed legs. Its biggest "problem" is actually just the udder shape-- deep udders, which "hang" low like that, aren't optimal for milk-focused breeds because the higher away from the ground the less chance there is of infection. In that department, the "unselected" holstein clearly outclasses the holstein-frisian.
But it probably won't be surprising to hear that the "show holstein," with its massive, swollen udder, is SUPER prone to infections such as mastitis.
But it is also just more prone to getting sick generally
And, to keep up with these insane demands, holsteins need a TON of food. You aren't going to just turn these things out into a pasture and be done with it. Even its ancestor the Frisian needed premium Dutch polder grass to be such a good cow-- crank that up to 11 with these Monuments to Humanity's Hubrice
The Texas Longhorn developed in semi-feral conditions and can eat a bush to become the best thing in a 10 mile radius. The Scottish Highland was iron-forged in upland moors with a steady diet of turf and rain.
Meanwhile if a Holstein has less than 5 homemade meals a day without poland spring bottled water it will die to death.
And the WORST part? You have to use these if you want to make money in dairy farming. It's WAAY too expensive to just run a suboptimal farm. Their milk isn't great, but they sure do make a lot of it.
...so Holsteins and Holstein-Frisians (and other "super efficient" breeds) have absolutely decimated heritage cattle. The American Milking Devon is a deep reddish brown with gorgeous horns and low maintenance; rare. Randall Linebacks are painted with lines of white speckles down the back and can be used for any purpose; critically endangered. The Niata was a pug-faced cow who could fight jaguars; extinct.
And THAT'S what makes me hate them most of all. I LOVE cows, but whenever I see a reference to one, it's a holstein. It's always boring black and white splotches with big pink udders. They're practically synonymous with "cow" when their homogeniety is actually hiding much cooler breeds from you.
Did you know cows can be tiger-striped?
And that England has its own type of longhorn?
Or that cow horns can twist upwards like an antelope?
And that they can have REALLY LONG ears?
And that they can be blue?
And that's not even getting into some of the cows that have gotten a small crumb of attention lately, such as Highlands, Ankole-Watusi, and Texas Longhorns. There's so many cool cows out there! And they're all really different from holsteins! MOST of them are also a lot healthier and produce tastier milk and meat!
TL;DR yeah i don't like holsteins and I like sniping at them. For reasons both legit and petty.
thinking david corenswet is hot is the most embarrassing reputation ruining annoying thing I could have done tbh like ohhh my god really? tall big muscles dark hair and blue eyes kind man is hot? god fucking really. are you fucking stupid I hate myself. oh you think superman is hot? fucking superman? groundbreaking type shit going on here oh my god heâs tall should we tell everyone heâs tall and his jaw is nice wow she thinks the attractive man is attractive. you and everyone else. is pizza your favorite food too. fuck you. everyone look at her she thinks SUPERMAN is hot boundaries are really being pushed over here should we get her a medal because she thinks Mr Smile is easy on the eyes. âhear me outâ and itâs a fucking marching band. should we call people magazine. vanilla. I DISGUST myself. summer blockbuster. I should be killed
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there IS a middle path between "worshipping every cis guy who says anything vaguely feminist and then being shocked when people use this to cover up their own misogyny" and "treating every single cis male feminist as inherently suspect and probably a lying predator who only talks about misogyny for clout/to get laid." we don't have to do either. there's this cool thing called "seeing other people as full human beings" and i think it's worth trying out
Romance language translator: well we donât have a gender neutral pronoun so I guess weâll flip a coin for male or female
Japanese language translator, an intellectual: none of Japaneseâs 30-something plus personal pronoun options have the perfect vibes so Iâll create a new one to bring that special somethinâ
What I found to be particularly clever about the coining of this very unique first person pronoun ĺźćŠ (heiki) is that itâs a homophone of ĺ ľĺ¨(heiki), meaning âweaponâ
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I think a lot about who I am to other people in the worldâparticular who I am to strangers as a mere concept in their lives.
Today this woman called our information desk and said, âmy sonâs band is playing tonight. I want to come see him, but he never answers his phoneâŚ..I want to be there. Have you heard anything about his band?â
And I felt so bad for this lady but Iâm not in the music scene around here so I had to tell her no, sorry.
Five hours later, Iâm hiking and run into a group of guys setting up for some outdoor performance, and as I watch them unload the drums it hits me.
âHey,â I said, âare yâall in a band?â
They said yeah and smiled and I told them âone of your moms called today. She wants to watch you play, but she canât get a hold of you. Call your mom.â
And they all pulled out their phones and started discussing whose mom it probably was as they presumably dialed their own.
And now, unless we meet again and recognize each other, thatâs who Iâll be forever to those guysâsome mysterious courier for mom-messages who came out of the woods and told them their mom called.
I didnât even tell them why their mom called me. Who am I to their mom?? Nobody even asked. They just took my word for it and called their mothers.
hbo max blocks screenshots even when I use the snipping tool AND firefox AND ublock which is a fucking first. i will never understand streaming services blocking the ability to take screenshots thats literally free advertising for your show right there. HOW THE HELL IS SOMEBODY GONNA PIRATE YOUR SHOW THROUGH SCREENSHOTS. JACKASS
somewhere out there is a guy who meticulously takes screenshots of every individual frame of his favorite tv shows and then painstakingly etches each one onto a roll of film which he puts into his old timey projector and recreates the footage as a silent film with his own lavishly hand-lettered dialogue cards and original score that he plays on his upright piano and charges audiences one shiny penny a play. at last, big media has finally outsmarted ol' Zachary Zoetrope
PSA for everyone who doesn't know, explained simply
this is NOT because of blocking screenshots, it's because of HOW streaming sites use your computer's hardware to optimise performance, which means the thing rendering the video and the thing capturing your screen aren't the SAME thing. so they can't talk together.
you can fix this by going to your browser settings, searching for "hardware acceleration", and turning that off.
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The Hobbit movies would have been vastly improved by going the same route as the The Princess Bride movie
Just constant cuts to the future with Frodo chiming in as Bilbo tells the story to be like âthatâs not how you told it when I was little!â and âwait, you never mentioned these orcs chasing you!â
And Bilbo hems and haws like âwell, I didnât want to scare the childrenâ etc and we see the same scene get replayed multiple times with slight variations as Frodo and Bilbo bicker about the details of what actually happened
(And then we can do an extra gut-punch at the end where Bilbo tells the little kids âyeah, the dwarves were all fine, nobody died, they recovered from their wounds and went on to rule the kingdomâ and maybe we get a glimpse of a universe where that happened⌠but Bilbo turns away as soon as the children are gone and stared out the window while he relives the truth all over again đ)
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