I just need some enrichment time in my enclosure.

hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul

"I don't want to be on meds for the rest of my life" couldn't be me. I will offer to personally suck off any team of scientists that manages to come up with a singular new medication for my condition that works and has no side effects I can't live with.

*sends out email I've been putting off* ah finally :). ah that's a weight off my shoulders :). ah I can relax an-- *receives response to email* what the fuck. what the fuck. what the fuckkkk

tumblr users will see a post structured with the classic rule of threes and say op are you aware that you could have included a fourth example

Well, yeah. There's always another hidden away in history.

you know how the rule of threes is that when you're telling a joke in the form of listing things you list every single example and it doesn't matter what order they go on or how it's paced and if anyone leaves off an example from their list it's because they aren't aware of the existence of more examples. the classic rule of threes

fuck i’m trying to catch all these flies but they think my vinegar is stupid. i have honey also but that’s for me i can’t give them any of that

management trying to hire and retain employees

sometimes the nut doesn't bring any clarity at all no matter how hard you bust it. the delirium only deepens.

"my son tried to introduce me to Green Day's music after finding it out on youtube" he knew about Green Day for one day and immediately told you about it but you let that young boy reach puberty without telling him about the best worst pop punk band of all time. i am on his side.

you'd think that "inhuman thing that isn't a person but speaks like a person and talking to it will slowly drive you mad" would only be found in folktales and fables and so on. but no. chatgpt