neurodivergent hell

i couldnt survive in a sitcom

so many characters are just dicks for absolutely no reason and i would. simply have to punch them. the way people treat each other in like every single sitcom makes me so angry and i would be on full punch mode all the time and go to comedy jail

I need you to know that I would emphatically and without question pay real human dollars to watch a season of ‘Friends’ where you appear to routinely beat the shit out of Ross Geller

just so everybody knows i have literally no idea why my blog shows as deactivated in the reblog. my working theory is that half of me is currently in the friends universe beating the shit out of ross geller

Oh sweet Jesus.

Where the FUCK is he?

Return my beacon to Mount Kilkreath

hunting down Tumblr posts i see on Pinterest part 993

I would pay $10 to do this

hunting down Tumblr posts i see on Pinterest part 984

I loooove howl’s loving castle because no matter how pretty and mysterious and talented a guy is his house will still be rancid as fuck I love that touch of realism ☺️

I sowed some holes in my clothes today, hashtag house wife

Okay guys I have the day off tomorrow so I will totally clean my whole house, finish every book I’m reading, do all the stuff I’ve been putting off, and solve world hunger :) so excited

Bad news guys

The strong as fuck ice mummy attacked?

The strong as fuck ice mummy 😔

25

ITS SUCH A FUCKING HONOUR I COUNT WORDS IN POSTS

Movie about a depressed and rather morbid autistic man planning to commit suicide and picking up a number of odd jobs in an effort to raise enough money to meticulously plan and prepay for his funeral so his mother doesn’t have to worry about it after he is gone. He begins to connect with people and enjoy life for the first time while working part time as a greeter in the funeral home, helping an eccentric old lady organize her basement, walking 7 dogs and maintaining a feral cat colony for a guy with a broken foot, playing a number of bit parts in local ads and stocking the shelves at the convenience store at night. In the end, he has befriended many of his neighbors and he decides he does not want to die and goes back to school to become a funeral director instead.

He is popular at his funeral home gig because he keeps accidentally saying things that are very reassuring and death positive. Because he wants to die. He eventually donates his funeral fund to the old lady’s granddaughter after her sudden death so she does not have to sell her grandmother’s prized possessions to pay for her funeral.

The old lady gifts him one of her ceramic cats at the beginning of the film which he reluctantly accepts out of politeness. Near the end of the film, he adopts a friendly cat from the cat colony that looks remarkably like the ceramic cat and names it after her, signaling his commitment to surviving and caring for his cat the way the old woman lived for her ceramic collection.

tch, stupid webp image. you will be a png when daddy puts you through the webp to png file converter

love the trope where an authoritative side character pointedly pretends not to help the hero they’re not supposed to be helping by saying shit like “well I can’t just let you wander around up to the THIRD FLOOR where you could just FIND THE THING YOU NEED in the FIRST ROOM ON THE LEFT. And under no circumstances should you USE THE KEY FROM UNDER THE MAT. I wish I could help you, but I CAN’T. Now excuse me, I need to take this phone call for the next 37 minutes EXACTLY.”

My doctor did that for me once. I had to get an expensive brain scan and she was like ‘do you smoke?’ and I was like ‘no’ and she was like “well that’s a pity because the government will pay for this expensive brain scan if you had been a smoker so - do you smoke?” 🤣🤣🤣 I was like ‘yes’ and she’s like ‘oh wow then this scan will be free’