know who you are at every age

Thank you. I hope everybody thinks this

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

A girl can be a handsome fella. This is obvious

i’m on onion rings right now

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

money beyond ypur wildist dreams

one hundred and seventy dollars

The Summertime Is A Little Different From The Normaltime

resurrected a dead language and it came back wrong

u don't know if Elvis died shitting he could've been farting

I think it sucks that you have to go to so many different kinds of doctor to take care of yourself. It's the 21st century. I should be able to go to a single office where they scan me with a big xerox machine and tell me what I'm allergic to and why my tummy hurts and if I have any cancer or cavities or if my glasses prescription has changed. And then I should get a sticker.

im so fucking stupid

i'm crying laughing this is so funny