just another Saturday night.

Oh... oh that's disgusting.

For emphasis - YOU HAVE TO TURN THIS OFF FOR EACH INDIVIDUAL APP

You can get to all these faster (marginally) by going to Settings > Siri > Apps.

@mxthtea

*old hillbilly with long beard voice* they bout done tore my pussy UP

Item: Skirt Wind Aid (Weighted)

autistic people of a particular flavour will master the art of expressing mundane sentiment in amusing ways because their most successful jokes as children were primarily accidental. and when you realise you have that spark of a weirdo it's just a matter of intentionality and comic linguistic optimisation to make yourself a regular sayer of things in funny ways.

Maybe you're just hot?

I mean it helps also

harrowhark nonagesimus is the character of all time. she's 3'6 and made of soggy pipe cleaners and will hiss at anyone who gets too close to her and yet she is almost universally beloved. palamedes sextus is like this is my best friend and my special guy. ianthe tridentarius is like i WILL marry this nasty smelly woman. gideon nav devoted her soul and body to her after hating her for 17 slutty, slutty years. god himself was like you are the wildest and saddest bitch i've ever met and you are a daughter to me. and harrowhark is just sitting there with 3/4 of a brain and vomit on her robe

If you're a trans man I think you're legally entitled to a butler who brings you a packer on a silver plate and says in that snooty butler voice, "Will sir be needing sir's cock today?"

What if there are several on the tray and the butler says, "And which cock will sir be using today?"

What would this be for trans women I want a butler too :O

Butler who brings us expertly-plated pickles and serves us gatorade in champagne glasses with little umbrellas like "Here are Madam's electrolytes."

Forcibly reminded of the time I came out of the bathroom and my daughter was holding out a breastform on a plate and snootily said, "tiddy de pomme?"

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

fabulous 

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

#HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY

You should be most embarrassed that you’re a disappointment to the empire.

star trek heritage post (February 10th, 2014)