oh, worm?

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

i'm not sure if anyone else has ever fucked up the spelling of "jealous" more than dj khaled did that one time

Parents are giving their children names no one has ever spoken out loud before

Baby Name Consultant is the type of job title you'd see people claim to have on HGTV while nitpicking 3 different multi-million dollar houses.

Thats the context for this meme???

I feel like I've been robbed the whole time. This is magical.

I'm dying

no rest for me and im not even that wicked ?

It’s crazy how ppl say “I don’t want my tax dollars to go to (program that would help the less fortunate)!” When have you ever be able to choose what your tax dollars go to? You get a little menu to order from? As if like 90% doesn’t go to the extremely bloated defense budget

You ever talk to someone and it’s clear that they’ve never got their chin checked for saying some dumb shit? Ideally, such situations would be calmly discussed among the participants, but some ppl have advanced to adulthood without realizing that saying certain things to strangers will result getting the dogshit smacked outta them. I won’t say that all social interactions with every human in existence are always clear cut scripts you get in advance, but you should have a working knowledge of what might make a stranger want to fight you. Denigrating someone’s physical appearance for instance, if they don’t know you, might make them put hands to you.