she/her I reblog many things related to shows I've watched in the past, collected under the 'fandom queue' tag. Found on livejournal, dreamwidth, pinboard, & AO3. Icon created by taibhrigh from livejournal.
voice in the back of my head: Rand/Mat; Rand/Mat/Elayne/Aviendha+. Splits off from canon in the middle of S1E6: The Flame of Tar Valon. Spoilers through book 12: The Gathering Storm. Show and book mix. In progress.
One-Shots:
pocketful of sunshine: Mat/Elayne. Show-based, set in s3.
a place in your house of memories: Rand/Mat. Post-s3. Show-based.
pull my pin (trip my wire): Rand/Mat; Rand/Mat/Elayne/Aviendha. Canon divergence during Lord of Chaos, with spoilers through A Memory of Light. Book-based.
after the fires die out: Rand/Mat; hints of Rand/Elayne/Mat potentially in the future. Set directly after the s2 finale; show-based.
AU Roulette ficlets: A little bit of Rand/Elayne; all AUs so no extensive spoilers for actual canon. Dystopia (ch1); Secret Agent (ch2); Museum/Archives (ch3).
wishing on the same bright star: Rand/Mat; Mat/Elayne; canon polycule. Post-canon fix-it fic that picks up directly from the epilogue.
(more fic and meta links under the 'read more')
bootleg gin: post s2 Mat/Elayne; with spoilers through The Shadow Rising and with some unverified spoilers for s3. Mommy kink. Show-based.
feels something like summertime: pre-series Rand/Mat, kissing practice.
the shadow of history: post-canon Rand-focused ficlet with spoilers through A Memory of Light. Book-based.
not in the stars, but in ourselves: Rand/Mat; Rand/Mat/Elayne/Aviendha. Splits off during The Path of Daggers, with spoilers through A Memory of Light. Book-based.
Randfear Trilogy: Rand/Selene; show canon with spoilers through 2x5.
past is prologue: Rand/Mat; Rand/Mat/Lanfear. Show canon with spoilers through 2x8; uses the Randfear trilogy as optional backstory.
give me your trust (said the love of your life): Rand/Mat/Elayne; book canon. Spoilers through AMoL (including the epilogue).
Seia Ascar: Rand/Mat; book canon. Spoilers through AMoL (including the epilogue)
stars fading (but I linger on): Rand/Mat. Splits off after S1E8 of the show. Show and book mix.
maybe this time (iāll be lucky): Rand/Mat/Elayne/Aviendha. Splits off from chapter 42 of TFoH. Book-based. I am eventually planning to write a sequel for this, but itās been on the backburner a while.
Skipping Stones: Rand/Mat. Pre-canon. Show-based.
share one more drink (with me): Egwene/Rand/Mat. Pre-canon. Show-based.
like roses and clover: Rand/Mat/Elayne. Splits off from Chapter 49 in The Dragon Reborn. Book-based.
negotiating with the truth: Rand/Mat. Splits off in between The Dragon Reborn and The Shadow Rising. Book-based.
lean on me: Rand/Mat/Elayne. This fic is based on one way that negotiating with the truth could have gone; written for polyship week 2023.
soul of fire, heart of stone: Rand/Mat/Talmanes. Set roughly in the early parts of LoC, but with an alternate Rand/Mat backstory. Book canon.
where the lightning splits the sea: Rand/Mat; fix-it fic for Winterās Heart. Written for WoT 2022 Big Bang. Book canon.
trackless domain: Mat/Elayne; Rand/Mat/Elayne/Aviendha. AU for ACoS. Book canon.
Meta & Reread posts:
General meta posts sadly under two different tags
WoT!Prime speculation and specifically WoT s3 speculation (obviously wrong a lot but speculating is fun)
Series Reread in chronological order (COMPLETED)
reverse order
Initial Show Reactions/Meta
reverse order
Initial thoughts on the Dark Along the Ways (post refuses to be retagged for some reason)
Show Rewatch
reverse order
Worldbuilding notes (all of these have spoilers from the books):
Leavetaking ~ Shadowās Waiting ~ A Place of Safety ~ The Dragon Reborn
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it's just really apparent that people think it's okay to want pain but morally abhorrent to want to give it. sorry but the sadist gets to have fun too. it's actually pretty crucial to the process.
Image ID: A screenshot of a tumblr comment that says "yeah, its only abhorrent imo, when the recipient is non consenting, i've" the screenshot cuts off.
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The issue of cheating and possessive jealousy in S02E10Ā mirrors the development in S01E10 with Tar at the bar and TharnType subsequent confrontation in their condo. Being in a very similar situation, they both fail to believe the other person and hurt him in the process,even if the other man did very little to make the other person suspect him with one exception - Tharn lies about meeting his bandmate in the bar while Type keeps certain information away from Tharn.They are both blinded and haunted by their doubts, pain and insecurity.Ā
7 years ago, all Tharnās promises, apologies and explanations were in vain, as well, as Type refused to trust him and kept being angry at him. Itās fitting that they find themselves in the same shoes the other man was 7 years ago: Tharn feeling betrayed and hurt with Type feeling helpless and hurt by Tharnās distrust. In all those years, especially Type has never fully comprehended the pain Tharn felt back then and this will help him understand Tharn more, what Tharn went through and what Tharn managed to forgive him; and strengthen their relationship and move it foward.
What they saw was part of a disk four times the size of the Moon as seen from the Earth; and it seemed even bigger because of the Moonās foreshortened horizon. It was not the full Earth so familiar from pictures, but just a slim crescent, streaked with cloud swirls and burning with a fierce green-blue radianceāa light with depth, like the fire held in the heart of an opal. That light banished the idea that blue and green were ācoolā colors; it seemed hot enough for one to warm oneās hands at it. The blackness to which it shaded was ever so faintly touched with silverāa disk more hinted at than seen; the new Earth in the old Earthās arms. Across that darkness, pale golden city lights traced out the shapes of North and South America. But at this distance the planet and everything on it looked small and somehow fragile.
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"i want to let everybody know what i have done over my career ā that japan had a skater like me who performed for a long period."
wishing a happy retirement to japan's KAORI SAKAMOTO! thank you for everything and the joy you have brought to this sport!
kaori is a 3x olympian, 4x olympic medalist, 4x world champion, and 6x national champion. she began skating in 2003 and began competing as a junior internationally in 2013. she remained a dominant competitor throughout her 10+ years of competing. moreover, kaori is known for her bright smile and support for all her fellow skaters, a wonderful, kind, and brilliant person both on & off the ice š¤
inspired by this tiktok :) i made the list thinking of all the ways morgana and gwen could have been connected while morgana was in camelot, before she became, well, evil. and safe to say i cried :)
This is a follow-up to "I am losing my mind over the lighting of the Hail Mary," which I wrote pretty much to set context and argue It Really Is That Deep. Going into this, I am assuming you also believe the way lighting is used in PHM is intentional.
(Note: My screencaps come from a specific leak of PHM that is shockingly HQ but does have desaturation issues. I've done a HSV Saturation run on several images but not all of them. My screencap folder is like +300 items now and there's only so many hours in the day. If I could buy this on blu-ray TODAY I would.)
Sooooo... what's up with Grace and rainbows, question?
In Grace's very first flashback/recovered memory, one of the first things we see is a ring of light, rainbow. When he finally remembers being betrayed and put onto the Hail Mary against his will, this memory is triggered by the refracting light in Rocky's ship connecting to the rainbow overhead on the day he tried to run.
Refracted light is practically Grace's thumbprint smudged onto every corner of the story, the narrative voice in prismatic form. It truly reaches drinking game levels of ubiquity.
When Stratt first meets Grace, he just happens to be draped in a cloak of rainbow light. More subtly, but still obviously once you're looking for it, when he arrives on the aircraft carrier, he brings along a small halo of colored light.
At its most subtle, it comes from glass. Every time the camera implicitly slides into Rocky's POV, settling over his shoulder to observe Grace through xenonite glass, there are coronas to be found, touching Grace at all times. In the Clock Bros scene, when Grace leans in to observe Rocky's eridian clock, a smudge of refraction just happens to pop up. I cannot emphasize enough how no frame of this movie is safe from the rainbow.
Dr. Ryland Grace adjusts a light and it looks like a dance club in the Castro, it's absurd.
So, down to basics: why? What makes cameras do That Thing?
Well, it's not unique to cameras. It's a matter of glass and white-toned light. Modern camera lenses are either treated with a diffusion layer or have specific filters meant to diffuse light-- to break it up more clearly. When you use a lens without that coating, almost any light source can make this happen.
The rainbow, the prismatic light, it comes from a lack of filter, from the removal of deliberate or accidental barriers. You need light. You need glass. Clarity.
Okay but why, narratively?
Nope, not yet. First, let's look at Grace's physicality as more and more lenses surround him. I'm personally deeply obsessed with how Grace interacts with Rocky's xenonite barrier.
In their first meeting, Rocky assumes he's dealing with another creature that relies on hearing as primary form of perception. After all, Rocky can hear through to the other side of the Mary with pinpoint accuracy, can even track Grace's status and location on the hull of the ship when falling into high orbit. But this weird alien bypasses each section of the nice big solid acoustically-friendly wall to focus in on the one spot where light shines through.
So the next wall Rocky builds is geometric blocks of glass. Which Grace, without prompt, makes himself comfortable with, finding any and all alcoves and wedging himself in.
Fun fact: It takes less than 30 seconds for Grace to go from "IDK you watching me sleep is weird" before the smash cut to "i have now dragged a cushion, pillow, and my favorite quilt into the glass to sleep here." I counted 26 seconds.
I can't even make that weird by pointing anything out about it. We have already started at Grace making it weird, to my absolute delight.
But even when Rocky decides to move onto the Mary, Grace doesn't seem to mind beyond some token protests on his little vlog. Which is quite remarkable, because wow. Wow. Look at this.
Here is Ryland Grace, under glass.
There is such an secession of space to Rocky. Even if it weren't, these shapes and the way they bend light and cast shadows are the focal point of every scene. Always center of frame, and we always watch how Grace interacts with this, how he bends to duck underneath, how he drags monitors closer for Rocky to see, how he continues to sleep pressed along any sympathetic angle he can find.
Add to that how Grace is framed, as a significant chunk of the film is looking through the glass at Grace, and this begins to invert the core concept of what's occurring here. Who is in an enclosure here, really? Does the glass keep Rocky safe? Yes, but does it also keep Grace safe?
Even after the two have gone their separate ways, Grace doesn't dismantle the enclosures to reclaim the space. Instead, as he contemplates turning back to his almost-certain death to save Rocky and Erid, he lays in the Don't-Go-Crazy room with a foggy memory surrounding him, his body weight against alien glass.
Grace's happy ending was something that I could not even conceive of until the moment it happened. I honestly couldn't imagine the story would let Grace live, let him save Rocky, and then let him be a teacher again.
Erid is a planet without enough light to see, and yet the people there build a ball of glass just for Grace, tailored to his happiness and whim.
That's a whole lotta motif-building. Now is time for the question: what does it mean?
Art is subjective and my answer will differ from yours. Here's what it makes me feel:
Between this post and the previous table-setting post, the thing that I cannot stop fixating on is how this situation should feel versus how much effort the film goes into to avoid that exact emotional beat.
We have a story about a man from earth, sent off into space, expected to live out the remainder of his life on a spaceship. This ship is further encroached on by necessity as the space is sectioned out to create a habitable area for an alien. In the end, this man's reward is a dome built to give him a habitable space on an otherwise inhabitable planet. He'll never see his home planet ever again.
All of the markers are there. This should be a story of claustrophobia and small spaces and feeling trapped with the walls closing in and no way to break through them because death is on the other side, be it the void of space or the hot, ammonia-drenched atmosphere of Erid.
Should be.
But there's the other side of the story. Grace's last memory of Earth is his voice failing mid-sentence as a needle pierces his skin, as one of his only friends and protectors watches him struggle, and overheard there is a rainbow.
Earth wouldn't take no for an answer. He'd never be a teacher again. A barbed wire fence stands before the rainbow.
I know writers who use subtlety and they're all cowards.
Here's what Project Hail Mary is really saying, with all of its rainbows and refractions and a crying man who sleeps against prisms: Ryland Grace was the light the entire time. It's not something he's looking for, it's not the Deep Truth he's seeking. He just needed a way to shine, to remember it was there.
"Oh yeah, uh... I'm Grace," he says, introducing himself as the world blooms with colored light around him.
They told me that the end is near; we gotta get away from here.
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