with you

does anyone have that gif of a penis growth ad thats a guinea pig that stretches out rly long and a girl says “hot!” and the guinea pig spins around pls i need it

YES!!! YES!! YES!!!!!

😩 i cant deal with this dawg

Wh-why is the crotch of the illustrative drawing censored???

touching my penis for good luck

you kid, but it *is* quite literally touching your balls, not for good luck but to ward off jinxes. like, someone will mention illness or something tragic that might happen, and men will automatically touch their balls out of superstition

wow you have dogshit taste (remembers im trying to be nicer to people who like different things) uh i mean, it's beautiful how the breadth of human experience is so wide it encompasses those with good taste and those with dogshit taste

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

we all need to take better care of our selfs or we might Pass away

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

im going to fix my entire life

When?

Like Um. later

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Today a very friendly Golden Retriever came up to me and I said "hey buddy :D" and the owner asked "do you know each other?" like his dog had a social life he didn't know about

Leaving the house is really cool because everything is very expensive and everyone’s very unpleasant to be around.

Strange racists and homophobes on the internet seem to have access to an alternate way cooler version of TV than me. "every white character on TV is in an interracial relationship" "every show has a gay couple in it" "main characters keep having to secretly be bisexual and nonbinary" "every show has gratuitous full frontal nudity" like damn promise?? What channel???