i’m so kind but i’m so evil and bitter

This is a reminder for those who handmake Christmas presents that now is not too early to start. It may in fact be a good time to start if you have a lot to make/your craft takes a long time. You should maybe start it now, whether that's brainstorming or actually doing the crafts!

I just have to lock in and get through my to-do list and then I'll start my new system with a clean slate and everything will be better.

my ducks? in a row. the elephant? addressed. my goose? cooked. my eggs? in several baskets. the bigger fish? fried.

Your monkeys ?

those aren’t mine.

The fact that one of these moves is significantly more difficult for me than the other two at least tells me which nerve is probably the most fucked up

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

Ebeneezer in 1742 wakes with a start as for some reason he has put out his guttering candle by slapping atop it ith the palm of his hand. His hand is burned and his nightgown and cap are spattered with hot wax.

Fascinated by the perceived necessity of an Equivalent Exchange

always get a large sized drink. you don’t know what life has in store

Once the dead horse decomposes, you're gonna wish you beat it more

can i come to your house and make you know some information