Oh boy, here we go.

was driving with my girlfriend and spotted a vulture with a broken wing standing on the side of the road. there was an animal hospital nearby with a wildlife unit so we pulled over and picked it up and drove it to tufts. i think its got a good chance at survival and it feels good to have been able to make the call and help an injured wild animal out

the funniest part of this was showing up at the Tufts emergency room with all these average folks with their dogs sitting politely on leashes in the waiting room and us being two very sweaty, disheveled haggy dykes who are bursting in and nearly running up to the desk holding a vulture in nothing but our bare hands and the look of extreme shock and horror on everybody’s face

Gay culture is bursting into an animal clinic looking to get medical treatment for a carrion bird

“When the master is gallivanting about somewhere, while you’re home alone. Unbrushed. Unpetted. Unkissed….”

me, getting chased around my house by a murderer: alexa play what’s new scooby doo by simple plan

Kids work together to create eternal recess

That is so sad Alexa please don’t play anything bc I am scared of you and will not allow you in my Home

friend was right cuz that fit shreds

I wonder if the ‘uh yeah I sure hope it does guy’ knows he’s a meme

Uh yeah I sure hope he does

what’s new pussycat just started playing in this restaurant and every millenial in the room shared a knowing, fearful look

It’s fucking Tom Jones? Millennials are you too stupid to realize that Tom Jones is the reason some of you exist? (Think about it for a second, you’ll get it)

hhhhhh oh my god ohhh my god oh my fucking god

They don’t know. They don’t know about the salt and pepper diner.

Also is he implying that people fuck to “It’s not unusual” and “What’s New Pussycat”?

Either that or Tom Jones fathered millions of children.

…did you use google translate?

mhm i assumed it was fucking with me like google translate does

what did it say… bc that translates into russian roulette.

oh it translates into english roulette and i was quite confused

@jayjay-graceless explain yourself

Don’t sob, it’s a delight. Purple is bes

@purple-monster-baby

wow mood

Were in 2017 he’s in 3089

Ok why is he holdng the microphone like a fucking wine glass

femmefareeha just told you