ask for money and I'll block/report you

everyones got that fic they chip away at like michaelangelo sculpting david. and brother? its penis month

asked my friends if they knew what i was referencing and they said no. we all know that post where someone divided how long it took michelangelo to sculpt david by it's size and went "yuuuuup. whole month spent on penis" right. sure, my search history is full variations upon "michelangelo penis month tumblr" to no avail, but we all know it. right.

Hi, that was a MBMBAM bit. But i see you and i hear you and i dont know if someone already said something

I feel like having wings violently burst out of your back would just feel really good. Like itd feel awful but also itd feel really satisfying.

Truly thrilled to finally find this post on my dash.

I need to stop replying to “how do you make friends in your 30s?” threads because all my answers boil down to “you have to want to know people instead of have friends” and I don’t think people wanna hear that

It’s like. People can tell if you don’t really like or connect with them. If you aren’t truly enamored with someone you will have a hard time coming up with activities to do together to deepen the friendship. Because you don’t really like that person that much.

Wait are iPhone bros coping because Apple has to be more universal? Lol.

Boo hoo i'll be able to add more physical storage to my phone and be able to change out batteries if they degrade as well as all these other optional features I won't have to touch

Continuing in the trend of political cartoons depicting milquetoast moderate positions seem so much cooler and more badass than they are

I love how they add totally absurd things no one is asking for to make the idea look crazy. And still, I must emphasize, failing to make this look like a bad idea.

"Is this what you want? Is this ugly stupid bullcrap what you want??" the biggest loudest idiot in the room asks, holding up a picture of the hottest looking shit I've ever seen

golden retrievers are still the only breed i’ve ever worked with that go absolutely WILD with excitement for the rain most dogs tolerate it, some hate it, but golden retrievers, man. they’re on another level

lost in the sauce

wet beast wednesday

Joy and whimsy detected! This snower (snail shower) is joyful and whimsical! 🐌🚿

Reminder to myself

Hey y'all why are writers always cold?

...why?

Coffee?

Allergies. Next question.

Circular prose

I did not

It's more rewording?

Correct! I am out of jokes. :(

A very enjoyable post. Thank you both!