Falling Headfirst from Time to Time

They should make Carrie White a fat trans girl in the new show

She asks to play volleyball with the girls team. They start a harassment campaign against her. Her mom's a rabid gender critical radfem mumsnetter terf. At the prom she sets a gymnasium full of transmisogynists on fire with her mind. You get it.

the club moss I got for my terrarium is dying, despite being lovingly packed into organic soil with oven-fried leaf litter and bioactive springtails and isopods, and meanwhile in my fridge my fuck ass onions are sending out bright green shoots as happy as could be in their cold dark box of fucking nothing

As dandelions to sidewalks, so onions to refrigerators.

in my head the star wars equivalent of tswift is some human woman named tay’lor spiff or something and her stans are losing their minds over theories that she’s secretly a jedi singing about the horrors of war, even though she’s from a neutral system that hasn’t seen so much as a moral panic in 50 years

the theories get even more egregious during the imperial era, with people straight up thinking she joined the rebellion in secret and is loading her songs with subliminal rebel propaganda. their main piece of evidence for this is if you play a certain song backwards, it sounds like she’s saying “freedom” in shyriiwook. the fans get really defensive if you point out she’s performed at the yearly empire day celebration thrice now and her family historically owned ewok slaves

if we can set aside attachment discourse for a moment (please) i think the jedi marriage prohibition makes sense in a “please don’t enter a complex legal, financial, social, and in some cases religious contract, the specifics of which vary wildly depending on planet and culture” way. the single jedi with a law degree does not have time to draft everyone’s prenups to prevent the whole order from getting sued

#fandom is all about creating interesting new problems#it does imply that intra-jedi marriages might be acceptable#presumably less paperwork#much to consider (tags via @celinamarniss)

i really fuck with it when my oomfs start their posts in media res. they'll open it with a phrase like "it's just funny because..." and then i look at their blog to see what's funny and. nothing.

It's like how Beowulf opens with a call to attention.

posting is exactly like beowulf

Original artist: teabag.cartoon

trying to find a way to phrase this in a way that doesn't make me sound like an ass but i think some of the things yall claim are trans culture are actually just things you and your friends like that you've decided are universal for some reason

i need everyone to know that this post was inspired by seeing a transmasc claim that making fun of bad ukulele covers is transandrophobia because it's transmasc culture