not a bot ❤️

guy who doesnt understand how lesbian relationships work: so which one of you died by self-inflicted fencepost impalement and which one of you lobotomized yourself to try and bring her back?

hello everyone. my name is harrowhark nonagesimus welcome to my meal. i have never cooked before but god asked me to try because he wants us all to eat & exist in union <3 of course i will oblige him because i harrowhark nonagesimus am the most devout worshipper of the locked tomb and the king undying. first up on the menu is soup. i hate flavours so i didn’t put any salt or anything. but don’t worry i put something better :) haha you guessed it! i sectioned my tibia and put it in the soup :) yeah :) so i can explode people :)

harrow the ninth Book Of All Time actually. gaslights the audience immediately. doesn’t answer any of the questions from the last book until like 300 pages in. complete perspective shift. complete tonal shift. god is making poe references and meme references in the same breath. blink and you’ll miss it lore drops that are actually critical to understanding what’s going on. so so much grief. Book Of All Time.

I think one of Gideon's funniest moments is when she learns that Pal and Dulcie have a Thing and she's so distraught about it because she feels like a complete homewrecker. Like she just made one of her first ever friends, this weird little man whom she diagnosed as Bitchless upon first sight, and then she learns he actually does have A Single Bitch but it's the woman she's been flirting with nonstop since she got there. So naturally her reaction is to start mourning for him because literally, how was her new bestie The Most Bitchless Man Alive ever supposed to compete with her

And this is why I love to let her live 6 million alternate realities through fan fic.

spiders harrowhark who lives on pluto and feels guilt for 200 murders she didn't do is an outlier adn shouldn't be counted

Camilla and Palamedes making notes every time Nona mentioned boobs because it might've been be a sign she's Gideon is so funny to me because if i remember correctly Gideon never mentioned boobs aloud in gtn so either they just clocked her so well or it was painfully obvious at what she was looking at, even with sunglasses

something totally normal to have memorized off the top of your head, baby girl

Gideon and Harrow

takes a real artist to go "i have to deface this billboard promoting an evil corporation's evil product. but crucially☝️the typeface and kerning must match or else it's cringe"

If you make it look official, people will leave it up. I knew someone who replaced all the motivational posters at work with 'demotivation' versions and corp didnt notice for like 2 years.