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@bringingjexyback
crying rn 🥹

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ticketmaster in front of congress:
ZeroHedge - On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero
Ohhkay that's a little too close to home. Does anyone have any theories why they are so utterly obsessed with making us peasants eat bugs???
allegedly it’s less damaging to the planet than agriculture and husbandry, which is a stupid claim on its face if you know anything about agriculture OR husbandry.
and people with shellfish (tropomyosin) allergies are supposed to just stop using flour apparently. and nevermind that various diseases are commonly tested in wild and farmed crickets alike.
This isn't about some arbitrary bias against crickets either. I love clams but if you told me they were farming clams to put clam powder into flour, that would be messed up. Nothing belongs in food except the things you'd reasonably expect to be there. Food should be what it looks like it is.

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Okay so I’m not sure how many people are aware but every year on the day of the Super Bowl, Animal Planet hosts the Puppy Bowl. They get a bunch of puppies that are up for adoption and let em play around with a little toy football and try to score touchdowns. The cheerleaders are kittens. Puppies often fall asleep in the middle of plays. It’s one of my favorite Super Bowl traditions.
This year, they are hosting a “Pupularity Playoffs” where you can vote for your fav pups based on their personalities and how cute they are. They have a video for each puppy and the winner is the Most Pupular Player.
These are this years pups! Personally I’m rooting for Cooper and Moocow. Voting runs from now until February 9th. I’m not sure if you have to be a US resident to vote but if so it’s nothing a VPN can’t fix. Here are the voting rounds:
vote
NOW GO VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE PUPPIES
Several years ago, my spouse was like, “you gotta give the kitties a warning before you grind your coffee beans” and I was like “okay sure makes sense” so now every morning before I grind coffee beans I yell “it’s gonna get loud babies!!!! Gotta grind some beans!!!!” And my spouse will yell back from corners of the house, in a despondent tone, “OH NO NOT THE BEANS!!!! SCATTER!!!”
Cows reaction when they see grass after being shut down indoors for 6 months.
(via)
This is also common practice in Sweden. Dairy cows are kept indoors during the winter, then released into their pasture in spring. The kosläpp (release of the cows) is an annual event usually open to visitors. There’s even an expression derived from it.
it’s so marvelous to me that humans make an annual event of gathering around specifically to watch cows experience joy. the humans are excited that the cows are excited, to the point they make sure the human kids get front row seats, cause they know the kids will be extra excited. there is so much vicarious joy here. how remarkable a world, where we do things specifically for the pleasure of seeing other people and creatures happy.
for @waxjism, some frolicking cows
every time i get a new follower who isn’t a porn bot:
When you’re getting an usual amount of new followers lately who seem to have genuine posts and discourse on their blog:

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Kids are funny.
I just had a random memory of a friends’ kid when she was about six or seven, when she cornered a couple of us at a get-together and says “wanna know what my dad had for lunch?”
We figured this was, while unusual, a pretty straight-forward conversation starter. “Sure”, we said.
We were NOT prepared. She went on this EPIC storytelling monologue about the restaurant and Italy and the art on the walls and some dramatic story she made up ABOUT the art on the walls. We were enraptured. No idea what was going on but by god we were hooked. At no point does she mention food.
The next week, similar get-together with the same people. Same friend I’m talking to. Same child walks up. “Wanna know what my dad had for lunch?”
But NOW we’re prepared, we’re excited. We’re about to hear some SHIT. We grin in anticipation. “Sure!”
“A salad.”
She walks off, seemingly unaware she just set up the funniest fucking week-long joke my friend and I had ever heard
incredible local donut shop yelp image
Now, there’s a look I never thought of.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/spookykitsch
These would look so festive in front of a children’s hospital!
Last year, I was talking with my mom about parenting and she said "well at least I never made you feel like I didn't love you"
I proceeded to tell her about a time when I was a kid and she was yelling, screaming, and throwing things, and I said "I love you" in that small timid kid voice and she said
"well I don't love you right now"
Our relationship was never the same after that and she didn't even remember that it happened.
the axe forgets, the tree remembers

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"I killed another houseplant bc of executive dysfunction"
Mundane
Evokes helplessness
Kind of a bummer
"Plagued by demons as I am, my crops have withered yet again"
Powerful imagery
Frames you as a gothic protagonist
Emphasizes that you are hounded by demons
How fucking cool are demons???
This reminds me of something I heard a bloke say at a local pub. He was talking about which of his vegetables survived a recent frost, and I only remember one thing he said,
"I think the lettuce has succumbed"
(Imagine that said in a very thick Welsh accents and a very solemn look on his face)
the lettuce has succumbed
Doing some deep reading into Cherokee history for the project that I'm working on and I am continually amazed how fucking funny old Cherokee leaders were