I’m Shy

if you are a game designer and you force me to kill wolves AND you have them make sad puppy noises I'm killing you

see this never happens in spider solitaire for windows

Biblical angels but they’re incredibly jealous. Oh? The humans enjoy that nude statue of Satan? Very well. I too shall bear my naked form of eyes and wheels. Why are you all fleeing.

Angels: humans enjoy looking at each other’s eyes, correct? God: yes Angels: therefore, i should form a dozen pair of eyes around my body. I will be loved 12 times as much.

if you are a game designer and you force me to kill wolves AND you have them make sad puppy noises I'm killing you

see this never happens in spider solitaire for windows

“by talos this cant be happening” = one of the greatest phrases of all time to use in everyday conversation

This would be great for a children’s hospital

This is so hilarious.

Vulcan school in the 2009 reboot is so funny. Time to go spend time alone in the dark grey child pit where I must answer rapid fire trivia and have a bowl cut

Forbidden shredded wheat

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, I had a pokemon. Second, there was a part of me - and I didn’t know how dominant that part might be - that wanted to be the very best, like no one ever was. Third, Gary Oak was unconditionally and irrevocably a douchenozzle.

Reblogging for the comment

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TEN

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TEN

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TEN

Remember: toe beans are the sign of a killer.

Funnily enough, I’m not 100% joking. While many animals have paw pads, the particular kind of soft, squishy beans found on housecats are an adaptation for stealth. Squishy beans mean you’re looking at an ambush predator.

These are the beans of a killer, Bella.

perfect posts don’t exi–