go to gail

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

What a highly specific and devastating word

WOAH just saw spiderman eating pizza on a roof

oh shit he ate the whole thing . he just like me frfr

spiderman just left the pizza box on the roof but then came back a minute later and clearly felt bad for littering so now hes swinging through downtown holding an empty pizza box

hes hit a street light

he's swinging away now clearly very embarrassed and he thinks nobody saw it. i saw you spiderman

fuck

it's actually so funny that all you need to do as a female athlete to be immediately disqualified is being good, because everyone knows women suck ass at everything and if a woman is good at something that's unnatural. hashtag feminism hashtag protect women.

we all know that beinq introduced as "???" with a black silhouette as sprite feels qood as fuck BUT. you must imaqine beinq introduced as "!?"

I have a lot of pet peeves but I think the biggest one is when people say things like “oh it’s such a small town, only 35,000 people” like bitch my town has 200 people, you need to pick a new adjective 

According to Wikipedia, a small town is 1,000-20,000 people. So although you are correct in stating that 35,000 people is not a small town (it is a large town), you are incorrect in thinking that you live in a town. You live in a village. You are a villager.

I…… don’t know what to do with that information……a villager…

they can't stop you from thinking about gay sex on company time

@copperbadge I feel like this is something you would appreciate.

Oh, that is lovely. And I always appreciate an artist attribution too!

met a woman today whose original real actual given-at-birth first name is "Vendetta." ma'am are you aware you are a videogame protagonist and/or a character in a skullduggery pleasant novel. real quick sorry to bother you miss but who exactly were your parents expecting you to avenge in their name

the worst part is I can't dare ask her that last question because then she might say something like "You don't remember, do you?" and pull out a katana and obviously I'm not stupid enough to take that risk