“I remember, growing up, at night, and my dad would sit in the kitchen with all the lights out and he waited for me to come in, and he’d sit there and drink, and I’d stand in the driveway and I’d look into his screen door, and I could see the light of a cigarette, and then I’d rush up on the porch and try to get by him but he’d always call me back. And it was like he was always… always angry. Always mad. He’d be sitting there thinking about everything that he was never gonna have, until… until he’d get me thinking like that too. And I’d lay up in my bed, at night, and be staring at the ceiling, and I’d feel like if something didn’t happen, if something didn’t happen soon, it felt like I was just gonna… like some day, like I was just gonna… “  - Bruce Springsteen

— via Inside Talamasca: The Secret Order, EW at SDCC 2025, & Talamasca Premiere

I haven’t seen anyone post the digital broadcast version of LJ and Ali’s Total Eclipse of the Heart performance for MCC Miscast26 so here it is!!

i like that jude died, though. i once saw a pitch for it that went something like this: it's a thesis that the life of someone who never recovers and never gets better in even the slightest way is still deserving of a thousand pages of writing. it's the story of a little life that never goes anywhere and it's still worth telling.

"in a sense he was very easy to write because his internal logic is his own and it never quite changes and he tries to get better and he doesn’t and i wanted there to be an inevitability to his life. it’s not that i think that people can’t overcome great trauma but i think for some people there is a line, there is an amount and they’re not able to come back from it and one of the things i tried to do in this book was really glide a lot between past and present tense. this idea that if you’re living with trauma, trauma is not something that happened in the past and then there’s a hard dividing line and it’s the present. trauma is something that’s waiting in the next room, you know, behind that curtain right next to you. so this idea that you live with trauma every day and some days you can live with it a little less intensely but other days you can’t is something that i really wanted to try to convey with grammar more or less, you know this idea of within the space of a couple of sentences memories creeping back in or falling out, to sort of then try to mimic this sensation of living with your past when you’re trying to only live in the present."

Enjoy!

New link is here! (Download starts automatically.)

Baby Jenks you're my idol.