a religious zealot propelled by prophecy

stop performing for people who aren’t paying you any attention

NOT naming any names...but some of my mutuals...are cool and hot

one of the most important things, perhaps the most important thing I have learned in my life is that nice people can fuck each other up in monstrous ways. people can be bone deep kind and loving and self reflective and still lash out under pressure. people can be earnestly neighbourly and charitable and hospitable and generous and still find themselves in situations where they become selfish. people can be well meaning and easygoing and gregarious and hold deep seated opinions that turn them into vicious little bullies under the right conditions. nobody is just one thing, and nobody stays one way. every person is a kaleidoscope and they will surprise you. you will surprise yourself. it's not a warning and it's not a judgement and it's not an excuse, and it's certainly not a reason to stop trying or to stop trusting. it is just a fact.

dating suffers, i think, from the desire that somebody will come to us fully realized so that we can be treated and loved the way we deserve. that’s a very tall order. it’s a frankly insane thing to ask of someone. you hold them to the expectation that they should know, from get, how to communicate hard things to you or how to handle your worst days or know what you need before you need it… who have you met that can do that? even our parents can’t do that. every relationship you have in life necessitates learning the wholeness of another person as best as you can and as it changes so that you can show up for them in the way they deserve. you will never have the love you desire until you learn to wait for somebody to build it, piece by piece, from the ground up with you. you want somebody to come to you fully realized when the person you’d spend the rest of your life with is somebody who’s simply willing to do the work with you.

Accepting that maybe even the best version of you would be hated by some people can really set you free like life doesn't have to be making other people comfortable or being the most lovable and fair person in the universe like actually the satisfaction you seek is beyond judgment and lies within your own interests and desires fr