Cuzzo

"So I know you sent me to kill the leader of the demons…but there have been some complications" The hero said, trying to hide the ring on their finger.

Where’s that post that says how tumblr is able to identify experiences that we don’t bring up, but are quite universal

easy, I'm already underfunded and always late

this gets funnier every year 

The year is 2042. Your daughter is awkwardly silent as she eats her dinner. “Something wrong sweetie?” She sighs and puts down her fork. “I was digging really deep in AO3 last night…Why didn’t you finish that coffee shop au?” It happened. Your past has come back to haunt you. Nay, it never truly left.

U CANNOT OUTRUN UR CRIME

OKAY BUT WAIT. This has happened to me. Recently. Because I am old and I have things out there from previous fandoms with previous pseuds and one day my teenager begins a rant at me about people never finishing any WIPs on the pit of voles (which he does not call the pit of voles because he has No Knowledge of such a thing but yet he still reads on which I didn’t think anyone did any longer) and he points out an example to me of something I WROTE AND LEFT WIPing for ages and he has NO IDEA #1 that his mom wrote this and #2 How much it still haunts me to this day that it will. sit. there. for. eternity. because I am too lazy to pull it down.

oh my god

Every year, this becomes both more funny, and more painful, and for both of those reasons, it should never be lost or forgotten.

Die temu ad die

Hmm. Accidentally looks like latin.

fucking the carrier pigeon guy for carrier pigeons

accidentally going to the for you tab on here is so scary. this isn't my beautiful house. these aren't my beautiful mutuals.

sometimes your mutual is there but it's like meeting them in a scary forest or haunted castle where the hallways shift and move perhaps