the daily elf

i like when i bite people and you can see the ways my teeth are a little crooked in the bite mark because it's like if i had a unique signature sort of like what im supposed to do at the bank and stuff except i actually just scribble the pen up and down and dont have a signature because they dont actually care about that kind of thing being consistent at all and it's all a lie so maybe they should let me bite cheques and stuff so i can pretend i know how to sign my name. actually i dont think ive had to write a cheque in like seven years because i dont have money and i dont go to the bank except to get coins for the laundry machine. its kind of convenient because i didnt have to change my signature when my name started being lena actually. maybe if i become famous someday i can find a new shape to become my signature but also i think id be too self conscious to make an autograph plus what if they use it to go to the bank and say hi im lena you can tell because i dont know how to sign my name and they go oh youre the girl that doesnt know how to do anything ever, yes come right this way to the vault we keep all your stuff in and then they steal my coins for laundry machines. being famous sounds scary actually.

me goreng? what do you mean i fried this.

happy marx beam monday.

spraying my followers with my marx beam on this fine marx beam monday

stove with all the dials on the back is really funny

heavy arm burns speedrun any%

I love thinking about “lost episode” creepypastas from a production pipeline POV. I wanna be the guy who gets handed a script about a main character brutally dying with no actual plot and is like “Yeah sure. Greenlighted.”

“Everyone who watches this cursed Simpsons episode dies immediately afterwards” The storyboarder died on the spot right after they finished their work. Every single animator dies after they finish their cut, the studio just has to keep hiring new animators to replace the dead ones. They lost too much money already they HAVE to finish the episode that kills people.