there are places in the world today that are experiencing 40°C for the first time in recorded history. of course there's no way to know whether chucking billionaires into volcanos will appease the sun god but i feel we're doing the scientific method a disservice if we don't at least try

My dad said to me, son, you can be anything. And I said really dad? Even a woman? And then my dad said no son of mine is growing up to be a woman without knowing how to give a proper blowjob. I spent years of training intensely until my blowjob sensei agreed I was ready, but just as I was about to receive my blackbelt, the blowjob student he had kicked out of the dojob for pride and cruelty returned, and sucked down the master with a single blow. And this is what brings me to your psychiatric practice, Doctor. You have changed, but I know you were the one who slew my master, and now you will meet your fate.

He thought he could best me with his skills, little did he know I can take down seven with one blow.

lol yeah go ahead try and attack me *notices i left my dragon scale talisman of immortality at home* or maybe lets not be too hasty

Chappell Roan could hit a paparazzi with her car and I still wouldn't give a fuck.

they’re foreclosing on my mind palace

The most basic, intractable fact about mental illnesses is that you simply cannot willpower your way out of them. The only exceptions to this rule are the ones I have, which continue to disable me due to lack of determination and other grave personal flaws

You have turned this glory hole into a hole of dishonor and you must leave immediately

the kids in hsm2 shouldve unionized that country club

maybe it's time to try religious psychosis

Imagine how bad that first post-nut clarity hits for a freshly married mormon