owaowa

not everything is getting worse. at least you don't hear high hopes by panic at the disco every day anymore

“word hashtag my word #myword” has done irreversible damage to my vocabulary

Being high has me saying things like “I like friends” as if it’s some profound relization

a puff of truthweed will have your breath carry only the undeniable

meows loud as fuck shattering all glass within 3 miles no survivors

i hate finding out absurdist jokes are actually normal jokes i was just missing context for. way to ruin the fun.. now its lame.. scoffs

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

holy peak im foaming at the mouth

So full that i see my giant roast chicken as a man stranded on a raft with me

something something extremely sexy when magic users resort to physical violence. yeah i have the power of god and anime on my side but i also have THESE HANDS. i cast Punch You In The Face. i take my magic staff through which i channel the vast energies of the elements and the cosmos and i cast Severe Concussion And Skull Fracture. casting time for xenoglossy too long, chose the quicker route of Stab You In The Throat.

We need to isolate and start selectively breeding the plastic eating bacteria so we can optimise their efficiency, and then somehow splice their DNA into the gut bacteria of an obligate carnivore, so we can put it in our cats gut biomes so they'll finally be free of having to choose between whether they want to eat plastic or whether they want to live.