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so many amazing words in the english language. you have clandestine and precarious and serendipity and iconoclast and then you also have staunch and sludge and slurp and smudge

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

the version of you from five years ago would be genuinely amazed by what you’ve handled since then. sit with that for a second

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

Shakespeare is like this

let the contemporary record show mr beast was pretty ignorable for his whole career if you were just like, busy.

Literally cannot believe I was ever scared of getting older like this is awesome. Learning so many new things about myself & reacting to things that used to get under my skin so differently. This is so sexy.

The apple they fed to snow white wasnt poision at all it was just a red delicious

a cat is a sort of machine that dispenses hair all over you and everything else in the room

Does thr fur machine have a purpose?

you ask an american if the chair they’re not using is free and they say something like my brother, for You it is on the house

The difference between 1/2 cup of rice and 1 cup of rice is like 18 cups of rice

it’s crazy how much you can read if you read

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.