Raisins Are Just Humiliated Grapes

a lot of advice on the internet comes out something like Have you tried being a different person? with a different life?

when u look at 2017 and think “oh that’s only like 3 years ago” and it’s actually 12,000 years ago and everything is gone and everyone you know has been reduced to ash and the world is completely different

Thought this was based as fuck for like 1.5 second until I realized it was meant in the sense of "two planes wasn't enough to stop big boy america is that all you got? 😈😈😈" and not in the sense of "the U.S.A. deserves a million more 9/11s"

oh i totally thought he was calling for more 9/11s

are we ignoring the dragon-sized truck nuts or

Are you ever typing something that your phone autocapitalizes and you go back and re-type it just to force uncapitalize it. Like no sorry mcdonalds doesn’t deserve that level of respect from me

Truly animals are some of the most numerous creatures of earth

Count em

1

Nothing wrong with me

The final boss of bed time is masturbation

In the sense that you gotta beat it.

hello to all the beautiful exhausted intelligent resentful compassionate irritated women of the internet i love you

i have the kind of melancholy that attracts me to large bodies of water.