He/Him Hag

You need to eat some vegetables in your diet or you will become a lich.

You have to wear a life jacket or you will literally drown and die.

You need to be able to exist in public spaces with children.

Actual Israeli history:

Pro Tip - Never drop the word wedding while planning if you don’t need to. Most things can be for “an event you’re planning.” This obviously doesn’t include things like the venue, DJ (who needs specific wedding songs), and the wedding dress company if you’re going that route versus just buying a dress.

For my wedding I got “discounted” cupcakes, flowers, decor, bridesmaids dresses, groomsman attire, and invitations. I did this by either searching for things that aren’t marketed for weddings or not telling the companies I was working with it was for a wedding. Because honestly, most of the time they don’t need to know why you’re ordering.

These companies target people planning their weddings and markup everything the second “wedding” is said. And it’s said often because people assume the services change exponentially for weddings. They absolutely do not. 

The best example are the cupcakes I had for my wedding. I used a designer cupcake store in town instead of spending $1000 on a wedding cake. If you place a large order of cupcakes with a cake tree for display - it costs about $150 for 100 (which is what I did). When you order their “wedding” package - the price raised to a $700 base for 100 cupcakes. The only other perk includes a “tasting.” Forget that. Our tasting was buying a few cupcakes in flavors we thought we’d like and picked three. It cost maybe $20. 

What these companies do is scummy and targets people who don’t have information about the event industry.

Saying "Not all rap music is about violence, here are alternatives" is not helpful, because the violent music ALSO has meaning.

When Biggie Smalls postures about his gang connections and packing heat, he isn't doing it because wow violence is so edgy, it's a powerful statement. Youth in urban areas where gang activity is heavy are often treated as lesser than by default, especially compared to black people the same age from a wealthy background. There's a reason that the "wholesome and respectable" black-lead entertainment of that era was stuff like the Cosby Show, with doctor-lawyer parents, or Family Matters, with a cop dad. There's a reason why the big joke of Fresh Prince is someone with a more unstable upbringing moving in with one of these model black sitcom families.

Standing up and saying yeah, I came from the mean streets, I was molded by this violence and yes, I did what I had to do to survive in a world that refuses to acknowledge my existence as meaningful or worthy of protection. I protected myself, I made my own way, and fuck anybody who tries to stand in the way of that.

Refusing to demonize that environment and wearing it like armor in a way that protects from the authority that wants you to see them as sub humans incapable of only violence and hatred, and saying HEY. I'm here, I lived this, and there is love and there is pain and there is ART in this.

That is powerful. That is the essence of gangster rap.

It isn't about hurting people for fun, it's about holding a mirror up to a society that does the hurting and then calls you a monster for what it's made you. Its about validating the experiences of the disenfranchised and biting back at authority. It's about turning a pain that the world say you deserve being one of those people from those places into POETRY. Into ART.

And thats why it matters.

I'm sick and entirely tired of having to defend my entire young life to people who want to do nothing but insult the music that helped make me ME.

I get around a lot of people who look at me and see a role model. They see something they aspire to be. They see a life they want.

And so they approach me and talk to me and I am excited to share my culture with them. All the way until, for the 784th time in a row, someone tells me "I don't listen to rap"

Or

"I only listen to music with real instruments"

Or

"I have to be in the right mood to listen to that, which almost never happens"

And they don't see how insulting that is. To walk up to me, tell me you like me, that you want to be like me, but then ignore one of the things that makes me me.

You don't want to be like me. You want to fucking cosplay as me. You don't want to watch the movies I watch, listen to the music I like, enjoy a meal or a coffee with me, or interact with anything that I create. So tell me again just exactly what it is you like about me?

What my clothes and the color of my hair? You're missing the whole fucking point of why I keep color in my hair. I never wanted to stand out. I just stood out anyway because people would fucking pick me out. People singled me out. Teachers, preachers, family, strangers, cops, leaders, and outcasts alike all looked at me no matter how boring I dressed and decided that I am meant to stand out. So I decided to stop hiding and stand out on my fucking own

It's the same thing with rap music.

These people did what they had to do to survive, and you don't get to tell them their music isn't valuable because it's not the same as the soft rock that has been playing around the world on repeat for the past 50 years.

Every fucking time I bring up a black artist I like somebody tells me they haven't heard of them and then brings up some black artist wrapped up in controversy to try to pretend THAT'S why they can't listen to black music.

"Oh she's too sexual"

OK listen to the music I listen to. It's not sexual. And even if it was, it would still be fucking valid.

"Oh he's too violent"

OK listen to the music I listen to. It's not violent. And even if it was, it would still be fucking valid.

And by the end of the conversation, they've been introduced to 7 new wholesome amazing artists that they've never heard of and will never listen to again

Because they're FUCKING RACIST

Fuck you and fuck your attitude about black music. Listen to black music

'a little bit about me'

this was a 'page' from my slow stitch journal that represented me and the things I love! rabbits, birds, rain, patchwork, earthy tones, buttons, bugs & whimsy!!

No you aren’t deconstructing by leaving religion.

No you aren’t deconstructing because you said that the bible is a bad book.

No you’re aren’t deconstructing because you’re saying that God is a shitty person.